'Please stay with me love.'
Hearing his voice played in my head 24/7. God knows how i miss him.. maybe i did regret doing that to him, why did i even did that to him? He was the best guy i've known, only if i can turn back time, i'll do the right thing.
:Flashbacks:
"Hi love, how was your day?" My boyfriend Louie asked me
"My day was great love hbu?" I asked him back with a smile in my face
"My day is great when i saw you." He said then pinched my cheeks, he always does that, he said my cheeks was so chubby that it's fun to play with.
"How corny love, i missed you." I said while laughing because of his pick up line
"I missed you too love, oh by the way, you know Kim? She asked for my phone number this morning i don't really know why." He said with a confused face
Kim? As in Kimberly? Oh that girl.. why does she want my boyfriend's phone number, hell please stay away from us.
"Oh.. really? You didn't asked why she asked for it?" I asked him looking more confused
"Well no, i just gave it to her." He said
"You gave your number to her? Without even asking why she needed it? What do you even mean? Love your supposed to ask her first not give it to her." I said angrily, I don't know why but i just have a bad feeling about her
"Hey love chill, it's just a phone number, i can buy another sim if you don't like what i did, I'm sorry love." He said and kissed my forehead
"It's fine. Next time ask her why she needed your num." I said then walked away.
After a week i've been noticing that Louie's avoiding me, he's always on his phone or when he see's me he's gonna pretend that he needed to do something. It's a little fishy cause whenever he see's me he's gonna hug me and ask how's my day going, but these days he's avoiding me.
Is it because of Kim?
Right now i'm waiting for his class to end so that i can talk to him about this issue.
I saw him walking out of his class with.. Kim? I approached them and asked.
"Hey.. where you guys heading at?" I asked Louie and Kim, they seem busy
"Oh to the library, we just need to study for our presentation tomorrow" Kim answered me
"Yea" Louie said then Kim added "So uhm if you don't mind we'll get going" she said
"Wait.. can i talk to him for a minute? It'll be fast i promise" i told them
Kim agreed so she left us a privacy for a minute so that we can talk privately
"What's up love?" Louie asked me
"I've noticed that this days you've been avoiding me. Like avoid, every time you see me you'll say your busy but i'll always spot you in the cafe shop with your classmates and Kim." I confronted him about the issue
"What do you mean love? Yes i really am busy, last week our prof gave us a project and i was partnered with Kim, so i'm always with her, nothings wrong with that right?" He said to me
"Are you sure that's the only thing?" I asked him seriously, I don't want Kim to ruin our relationship.
"Yes love, i promise, now i need to go. I love you" he said then hugged me and left, he left so fast that i never had the chance to say i love you too..
After that confrontation nothing changed. I still see him hanging out with Kim, when their *Project* was supposed to end the day after i confronted him, so he shouldn't be hanging out with Kim that much
As the days go by, i started to lose trust and feelings. Until the day has come. I'm breaking up with him
"Love? You asked for me?" He asked me
"Louie.. im breaking up with you" i said straighly and no hesitations at all
"What? No.. no no love you can't do that to me" he said sadly "Please stay with me love" he said begging
"Yes. Yes Louie i can. I fell out of love. You're always with Kim, why don't you just be with her. We have nothing to talk about anymore. I don't need you explanation or anything. We're done." I said firmly and left, i saw him crying while i walk away. I couldn't care i never felt anything, i just feel like i needed to end it.
After 3 days, i have never heard about Louie, i was starting to get nervous about it, in that 3 days all i ever thought was him. Then suddenly Kim approached me
"Hey Hanna." She looked at me almost teary eyed. "Louie wanted to give this to you, after your break up he never got out of his room and uhm.. never eat anything, just locked up in his room all he ever did was.. cry. Then uhm.. last night his mom came into his room and he was found.. dead. Next to him was this letter. I just wanted to give this to you so that you'll clear the misunderstanding between the two of you." She said and left, i felt like i was crying while listening to her. I was mad at myself. I was blaming myself for his death. I never wanted that. I wished i let him explain what happened. As i cry i opened the letter he wrote to me.
"Hey love, i know that we're done but i wanted to give you this to clear our misunderstanding, me and Kim are just friends. Her family and my family are close to each other that's why we were always together. Im sorry if you thought i was ignoring you, im sorry for the days i've maked you sad. I'm sorry because of my foolishness, this letter maybe the last letter that im gonna wrote to you. I'm sorry i never got to make a hundred letters for you, i only got to give you 76 letters. In this 3yrs of us being together i don't regret anything. Any single things. One thing is just i wished we could have talked before you left me, but don't worry love im not mad. Just please after im gone promise that you'll take care of urself, i love you love. Always and forever
Your love:Louie
Reading the letter, i was crying, i never cared if anyone was looking at me, all i cared was him. I miss him. Im sorry love. I am truly sorry. I continued to cry until i can't take it anymore i run to the nearest bathroom and cried there.
Remembering all that makes me feel like im a bad person, i hate myself. I'll always hate me. Im sorry love. Im sorry i didn't let you explain, only if i did.. you'd still be here. I love you Louie so much.
