Under My Sleeves

6. Secrets

Soojin flopped on her bed.

11:25.

Nothing.

No ounce of exhaustion.

After such a long day too.

   Soo moved from her bed too her desk, relaxing in the comfortable chair. She sat down making as little noise as possible as Jake stirred in the bed across from her. Sighing, she leaned back and felt her mind racing. What would her debut be like? Her head hurt as she felt another wave of anxiety wash over her.

   Would anyone like her? Would Enhypen lose fame because of her? What if she wasted all these years of her life training for something that wouldn't happen?

   She sighed and shook her head but the hyperventilation was inevitable. Reaching down she opened the top drawer of the desk and spun to face it. Under the somewhat "cluttered mess" it was actually organized. Organized in a way she understood.

"Sh-shit..." She mumbled. "Why d-does this always h-h-happen." Fumbling under the calendar she was met with the familiar grasp of her inhaler. It had a cool touch to it, and it felt relieving on her hot finger tips.

Breath in. Breathe out. Shake the medication. Press till the click. Hold the air. Release.

The familiar steps played in her head.

"I need water, but I don't know where anything is." She sighed. "Fuck."

   Deciding to risk it, she left her room anyways and fumbled down the hall in the dark. She knew where the kitchen was and scanned the cupboards until she had found cups. She had no idea if the fridge had cold water but it would be weird to check, even if she was living here. So she filled her cup with tap water when she heard steps behind her.

"You don't mind the warm water?" Jungwon asked. Her heart leaped and her whole body tensed as the water spilled over the brim and down her hands, decorating the kitchens hardwood floor.

"Nah I don't care." Soo said. A familiar feeling overtook her. The memories came and  her vision blacked out. 

She was six and wanted water. Creeping through the kitchen. The floor creaks. Her "Dad" comes. Pain. Her leg. Throbbing.

Your breath sped up. Reaching in your pocket you used you inhaler again.

Jungwon look startled. 

"You use...an inhaler?" He asked, clearly confused that this wasn't mentioned earlier. That could be a serious health problem, how did he not know? How could no one tell him?

   "Well yeah, but only in autumn and winter. It's just cold induced asthma, nothing big." You downplayed.

   "It's still important," he said, taking the cup from your hands and drying the sides before handing it back to you. "even if you don't think so." You thanked him as he handed you the glass, your fingers just barely brushing his. 

    "Well, why are you up?" You ask, sipping the water.

   "I just couldn't sleep." He answered, half honestly. In all truth he was over-thinking about having a new GIRL for a member. How would life be starting now? But something urged him to tell you the whole truth. "I mean,  it's really weird having a girl just rush into our group, you know? Not that we have anything against you, it's just new."

   "Yeah, I get it." You agreed.

   "And we only had a day to combine rooms so that you could have some space. They expected you to bunk with Jake and Hoon. I thought only ONE boy would be less...uncomfortable than two."

    Your stunted expression most definitely was showing. They changed rooms in A DAY? "W-wow...well I really appreciate that." Fiddling with your hands you added, "And I didn't know this was going to happen either, by the way. It just kind of did and then...well here we are."

    "That's okay." He reassured you. "Well not what they did but...I mean...um...Okay..."

    You laugh and set your glass down. "I get it." Damn this was so awkward.

     "Well I hope you sleep better..." He said finally as he started to head back to his room.

   "Yeah, you too.." You said and started to head back also.

Shorter chapters now :)