Am I the asshole??

23

AITA for returning my daughter's birthday cake after I discovered that my wife made changes to it?

I (M37) have a daughter (now 13) "Olivia" from my former relationship. Currently, I'm married to my wife who has adaughter (16) "Britney"

So, Britney is the opposite of Olivia. for example, Britney s a social kid, Olivia is introvert. the list is long but they're just the complete oposite.

Olivia's 13th birthday was 2 days ago. She loves chocolate and I decided this is the flavor I was going to go with when I contacted the bakery. However, my wife objected since Britney absolutely hates chocolate and suggested we go with Vanilla. I said no way because for one, Olivia hates vanilla and it's also her birthday so, she gets to have her cake with her favorites flavor. My wife got upset and took it as in I had no regard for Britney and that we should just choose another netural flavor instead. I shut that down and said no more discussing this because I'd already decided to go with what Olivia wanted.

At the day of the birthday, I was supposed to go get the cake but I was surprised to see my wife coming home after picking up the cake from the bakery. I looked at it and discovered that it wasn't a chocolate cake but a vanilla cake with small pieces of chocolate on top. I got pissed thinking they got my order wrong and was about to contact them, but my wife said there was no mistake and that she called the bakery the day before and made "slight changes" to the cake to please both girls. I was stunned I lost it on her and asked why the hell she did that. She got defensive saying that birthdays are no "excuse" to show favoritism and that her daughter is "watching" and "observing" how I'm treating both girls. I told her off since I was the one paying then called the bakery and explained what happened. I had the cake returned and replaced with a chocolate cake. although this one is smaller but it was fine.

My wife declined to take part in the celebration and later we got into a huge argument where she called me controlling and selfish for returing the cake instead of using this opportunity to teach Olivia to compromise so everyone's happy. now I'm teaching her to be "selfish". I said that my daughter gets to act "selfish" on her birthday and that she (my wife) was teaching her daughter to be entitled. Word for word and it led to a bigger argument. We're not talking as of now.

AITA for returning the cake and not taking my wife's input into consideration?