✅ The Last New Start [NaNoWriMo2021]

122. Where it Hurts

Here's another chapter dedicated to babysofia1234, with thanks for all your support! I'm catching up with the Patreon rewards slowly, but at least they're getting there. And I hope nobody is too shocked or disappointed by this sudden twist; I was expecting this to happen later, but some of the timing got a little tangled up.

Tess stared at her phone, and took a deep breath. It hadn't helped so far, but maybe it was a case of fifth time lucky. A breath would bring extra oxygen into her body, and a sigh would let her expel all of her worries so that she could bring herself to say what she needed to say.

"Boyfriend trouble?" Kim asked. Tess was about to say something really snarky, but realised before her mouth opened that she was only angry at herself. This was something she needed to do, and something that she knew she was capable of. So why was she making it so difficult for herself? Of course, it was because she needed to admit that the problem between them could have been more about her own failure to communicate than anything else.

"Not that," she said. "It's just... I asked Spike to come visit a couple of weeks ago, and some stuff happened. Not good stuff. I think I underestimated... what he wanted. And whatever I say, I know it's going to upset him."

"Girl, if you're that worried, you need to talk about it. If you're not sure about going that far, you should let him know that. Not quit talking to him for a couple of weeks. We've been rooting for you guys, you know? Everything I've seen shows him as a strong, compassionate guy. And that means that he'll be willing to wait for you, if he knows you want to. I mean... I don't know what happened, obviously. But if he stopped when you told him you're uncomfortable, that's a sign he wants to learn better. And if he didn't, it's not him you should be talking to. He didn't..."

"No, no," Tess stammered, after a few seconds delay while she deciphered what her friend was talking about. She hadn't said anything about the baby thing, she couldn't bear to share that with anyone else. But that meant that even the vaguest suggestion of her current situation was bound to have people leaping to the wrong conclusions. She couldn't blame them. "It's really not anything like that. It's just... something hard to talk about. Something I can do that I thought would be good for him, a way to blow off steam. Nothing... you know. Just like a hobby. But I didn't realise how seriously he takes it, and I was kind of overwhelmed, and I freaked out a bit. I feel bad about that, I mean, if it's so important to him I want to learn how to enjoy it. But it's hard to explain, and I'm scared he'll just back away from something that he really wants if he realises how nervous I am, and there's no way that would be fair. How do I tell him?"

"Talk to him about something else?" Kim suggested, and Tess knew that it should have been the first thing to cross her mind. She'd been ignoring every message he sent her, just because there was one thing she was scared to talk about, and she knew that would be more of a problem than just wanting to negotiate different rules. But after she'd dug such a deep hole, she knew it would be hard to get out of it.

"Yeah. He's still my friend, no matter what. I can't let this come between us. I just need to work out how to tell him about..."

Tess stared in silence for a few moments, as Kim waited for her to finish the sentence, and then turned to see what she was looking at.

"Woah," she mumbled after a delay of a few seconds. "What happened to him?"

The sudden distraction with Spike Luger, walking into the school cafeteria. He wasn't normally the kind of person everyone would turn to look at, but he was pretty popular and everybody who'd spent much time talking to him liked him. But he was the centre of attention today, and it seemed like everyone in the room was ignoring their lunch while they tried to work out if they were willing to be the first person to ask him what had happened.