Never let me go.

The best night of our goddamn lives

HEYYYY! I'm backk! :)
So this is the first chapter of the sequel from "let me go." I hope you enjoy it and thank you for reading it!
——————————————————————
(Sam's pov)
I'm sitting against a big rock as Deena is sleeping on my shoulder. When I look up, I can see the stars through gaps of the trees.

We're still at the river since school finished and I'm so happy that summer break started. I smile when I feel Deena's grip tighten on me. I put the blanket we're sharing further on Deena, so she won't get cold and lean my head on hers.

I sigh. I can't help but think about my mom. Even though she's the person I hate the most in this world, I still wish she would be here and apologize. I wish she would accept me for who I am or at least pretend to accept me. But she isn't. She's in jail, because she threatened me with a gun to stay away from Deena. My own mother.

I feel a tear fall down my cheek at that fact and I hold my grip tighter on Deena.

It's over, Sam. You don't have to be sad about it. She's not able to threaten you anymore. You can be happy. I think to myself.

I sigh again.

I should probably get some sleep.

I take my flashlight and shine on the watch around my wrist. It's 4 am. Have I really been awake that long?

Suddenly I feel Deena shift. I look down at her and see that she's awake and rubbing her eyes. She looks gorgeous.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" I ask her with guilt. She shakes her head.

"No, you didn't." She says with a laugh which makes me relieved and smile at her laugh.

She looks around for a moment. "What time is it?" She asks. I tell her it's 4 am. She asks me why I'm awake at this time. I tell her it's none of her business. Shit. Did I really just say that?

I look at her and she looks back at me with a surprised look on her face and a little hurt in her eyes at my answer.

I rest my face in my hands. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. It is your business I'm just really tired and confused and I can't sleep." I tell her hoping she would forgive me. Actually a part of me wants her to never forgive me because I should never have said that.

I'm so angry at myself and frustrated to why I actually somehow miss my mom. I shouldn't miss her. She's a psychopat and I hate her but at the same time I love her with all my heart because she's my mom.

"It's okay." Deena says. "How come you can't sleep?" She asks. Wait. She forgives me that quick?

"How aren't you angry at me?" I ask her softly. Tears are threatening to fall but I don't know why. I have everything I ever wanted, right?

"What do you mean?" She asks with a chuckle.

"I just told you that the reason I can't sleep is none of your business. I don't even think you should forgive me for saying that." I tell her as my voice cracks a little.

She puts her hand on top of mine and it instantly makes me blush. I'm glad it's dark outside so she can't see that I'm a tomato right now.

"Sam, it's okay. You're tired and obviously, you're not okay. You don't have to tell me but just know that you can always talk to me, okay?" She tells me and I smile.

"No, I want to tell you. I just reacted wrong and I'm so sorry." I sigh. Again? Why do I sigh so many times? "It's just, my mom." I tell her as I look away, ashamed to be missing the person that ruined me. I hear Deena letting out a sigh. It's not an I'm tired of your shit-sigh. The sigh is like she tells me that she knows it's hard and that she doesn't want me to feel this way.

"Sam. It's okay for you to feel this way. You've been through a lot and it's normal for you to still want the love from your mom that you were never able to feel." Deena tells me.

I look back to her because I want to know if she really means what she just said. These words almost feel unreal when I heard them come from another person. How isn't she actually bored of me?

"I don't know." I answer as I bring my eyes back to my hands in my lap. I'm peeling the skin out next to my nails and I don't even notice it until Deena suddenly brings her hand to mine and intertwines our hands with each other.

"Sam, I believe in you. You're so strong for fighting through this everyday and I'm going to keep telling you that it's okay to feel like this until you believe me. Because it's true, Sam. And I'm never going to give up on you because you're worth fighting for. I know you are."

Damn. I don't know what to say. I don't know what to do except let the tears fall down my cheeks that I've been holding back for days now. So I let them fall.

A single tear starts falling down my cheek and even though it's dark outside, Deena notices because she wraps her arms around me and lets me cry into her chest.

My cries quickly turn into sobs as I feel Deena's hands go through my blonde locks. She kisses the top of my head and as she keeps her lips there she whispers "I love you." to me. I calm down as she holds me tight and I close my eyes feeling my entire body go heavy. Deena puts the blanket over me and I fall asleep in her arms.