The Girl who learned to love again

The day

Smoke. That's all I smell. I get out of bed and all I see is smoke. I grab my dog Lucy who is sitting on the bed barking uncontrollably and run down stairs to call 911. I can't tell where exactly the smoke is coming from but I know if I don't hurry things are just going to get worse. The operator told me to get out side right away, so of course I did. I still look back on that day and wish I wouldn't have listened that I would have at least tried to help save grace or Dakota or Brooklyn or mom or dad get out before the fire went out of control and made it impossible to escape. Not a day goes by that I forget what happened that night. After that nothing was the same. I'm currently in foster care, which is almost as painful as having no one left that you love. You see here's how it goes a family decides to let you stay with them for a little while or until someone wants to adopt you. Sounds okay right? WRONG. Every time I finally think I might have a shot at a normal life again, that maybe I can learn to love this new family I have to start all over again. Why? Because no one wants me. It's that simple every family I have stayed with has gotten rid of me. Well that's not what they say, they say " oh we are so sorry honey we just don't have enough money for a kid right now." Or " it's not your fault it just wasn't meant to be" but I know the truth the truth is, no one want a girl who is afraid of getting close to them but you know what, it's because of them that I'm like this. I can't help it I don't want to keep getting hurt over and over again like I have so many times so it's just easier to shut everyone out. Right now I'm staying with the Hutson family. They are a young couple I'd say around late 20's early 30's with a 6 year old named Harper and a 3 year of name Katie. I can already tell I won't be here long, everyone in this family is so.... Happy all the time and to be honest I hate them for it. They remind me too much of my old self, young charming beautiful Scarlett grace. I'm not her anymore and I doubt I ever will be again. Anyway I go to Eastwood middle school now I wouldn't say I'm completely miserable there though I have tree really close friends there which I almost wish i didn't have because I know I'm going to have to leave them unless I get put into another foster family that lives by this school but I doubt that will happen. Anyway their names are Casey, jasper, and Nicole. We all have the same classes and get along really well and they always invite me to there houses and it's obviously because they know I stay in foster homes. Still it's nice to have people who actually care about me in my life. Every day after school I go the long way home just so I can have a reason to talk to Jackson, he's so handsome and he doesn't even try to be. The thing I love most about him is his, rough dirty blond hair it goes so well next to my soft golden blond hair. I know I probably will never have a shot with him I'll probably be stuck in the friend zone forever but it's nice to think about. Anyway tonight we are going out to eat sense it's harpers birthday, I think I like her the most she has long brown hair with a nice olive skin tone and she loves it when I help pick out her outfits and do her hair, and I love it too it makes me think about how I used to do the same thing with grace, gosh what I wouldn't give to have her back. If I ever do get adopted I want them to have other kids too I get along much better with the family's that do because that's what I've been used to all my life.