Hum-tum aur yeh chand-sitaare

"Hum tum

kitne paas hai kitne

door hai chand-sitaare"

22nd October 2021 - Before Monami fell in love

Monami

Another night of not being able to sleep. Just couldn't. Every single time I would close my eyes, I would see those same scenes play in front of me again and again. I just couldn't handle it anymore. I could not control myself anymore. I had to finish the book. I mean there was no other alternative. Aaron and Lina's dance sequence just wouldn't get out of my head, I needed to read.

So I tip-toed out of my room and situated myself beneath my favourite tree in the academy. Traced the lines along the page, trying to find the exact line I had stopped reading. About 15 min into gushing over Aaron and maybe even begging god to give me someone like him - I felt a sudden warmth. Looking to my right, I found the source - Karan Shergill.

He gave me a nod before looking into oblivion once again. I knew that Karan never talked to people easily unless it was professional or to Faizi or Sanjana or Baby or Bhabhi or maybe if a gun was pointed to his head. Who am I kidding? He would rather prefer dying than actually talking.

"You here? It is so late" I asked.

No response as expected. But I wasn't going to back down. I just cannot allow him to take the oxygen around me and just not TALK. He would either have to leave so I could stop feeling that my body was on fire and concentrate on Aaron or he could just talk to me so I could ignore the uneasiness.

"Nightmares?" I asked once again.

He nodded back. Still no talking but at least he gave a response. 3 months into being a resident doctor I had understood that every response given - was a moment of celebration and is never to be taken lightly. And this response should certainly not be taken lightly.

"Do you get them often?"

"Sometimes"

"So what exactly is sometimes?" I asked raising my left eyebrow

"Well just sometimes"

"Okay, you have to stop."

Unfazed by my outburst, he stared at me for one whole second before looking into oblivion again.

"Stop answering me in such small sentences and tell me exactly what is bothering you." Due to not getting any response, I continued. "Karan are you actually fine? If there is something wrong, you know you can talk to me about it."

Karan sighed before he spoke in a low volume, "There isn't anything wrong. I was just thinking something, in fact thinking about you."

Butterflies fluttered in my stomach as I spoke, "Me? What about Me?"

"Just wondering ki tum aisi kaisi ho? How are you like this?"

I knew exactly where this conversation was headed. We had talked about this a lot, actually quarreled would be the right word. The butterflies had disappeared as to not get burned by the lava that had started bubbling inside of me.

"Karan, I swear to god, agar tumne fir se yeh start kar diya ki I am impulsive, I think by my heart or that my emotions get the better out of me. Then I will actually kill you. Not joking. I actually will" I whisper-yelled at him, making sure I don't wake up the whole academy.

"Shant, rani sahiba. Main yeh sab nahi keh raha tha. I just wanted to know ki even after facing so much in your life tum abhi bhi inti khush, itni cheerful kaisi ho"