Honestly I dont know where to start.
I have been scared that my life is pointless for a few months now.
I can't find a place to fit in.
Im stressed out almost every day, knowing that I never will find a place to fit in. Right now when I spell out this, my heart and haid is spinning. It feel like I am about to pass out.
I woke up last night by having a hard time to breathe, it could be the anxiety, probably is.
I feel like its taking over
The anxiety is easier to deal with compared to last time but it may change. I will just have to change my mind just a little.
People tell me to always be myself.
I have a dirty mind even tho I hate it. I wish I never knew about love the way some do.
I feel like I need a hug all the time, it feels like im about to expload soon. Feelings or not..
I am in pain
I wont tell anyone cause they will probably think that its their fault.
I love myself for thinking about others first. But I hate it also cause now it hurt.
I better be quiet soon.
Learn to never speak
Or maybe even feel love for other people.
I hate this, but I love it.
I want to turn to God but I feel like he dont want me even tho I know he do! Something is in my way to think straight. I know what to think, I know what is true yet I have it hard to think that way.
Nothing matters, just them.
I will go through this mindset over and over again until someone tell me and show me that its false.
I live in a lie that I, myself made up. I make others feel bad because I make them listen. I want to be alone so noone can hear yet they walk there behind me as if they cared. I know they do but I cant let them in. It feel impossible.
I know its hard but I for real this time need help to get out. Again. Im So Sorry
