I Lost You

Hey, guys, so,this my first FanFiction, ever! I love FitzSimmons to death, and I am quite nervous and excited at the same time for the reviews I will get. This is set at the start of Season 2,when Simmons was undercover in HYDRA. I hope you guys enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it! Thank you for stopping by!♡♥★★☆♣♧ :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. I wish I did, but sadly, I don't. :)

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Simmons' P.O.V.

I toss and turn in my bed.  I have to go on my first HYDRA mission tomorrow. I have to concentrate on what Coulson sent me here for, but I am unable to. It's been months since Fitz died. Died. The word leaves my lips so easily. Although I try to move on, and put my painful past behind, I am not able to. I am not the same Simmons anymore.

Before I came here, I was in a state no one could have imagined. Not even me.

When I found out that Fitz died my heart had stopped. I couldn't believe it. I always knew Fitz was a fighter. My fighter. I had screamed and shouted my heart out outside the ICU - one of the best S.H.I.E.L.D. had - but they weren't able to save him. And I lost my fighter. My Fitz. My monkey. My love.

 Why did you leave me, Fitz? Why? I wish I could have saved you. I wish I could tell you that you're more than that, too. He destroyed my life and killed you. I will never forgive him and neither will I forget. He betrayed all of us. He tore apart our team.

I still remember how you told me that I was more than a best friend to you, and I wish that I could tell you too, but I hadn't realised then, and hadn't realised that you had. What a fool I was, and I thought I was intelligent. How could have I not known? You were my best friend, after all, but now I have, and it's too late, because I have already lost you. I've lost you.

You didn't deserve this, Fitz. I wish I had swam faster. I wish I had done something to save you. I wish it was me. Not you. I wish. But wishes don't come true, do they?

I don't think I'll  be able to sleep tonight. Tears make their way down my cheeks. I quickly wipe them and get up to make myself a cup of tea. Tea; how he used to make the perfect cup for me. With the right amount of sugar and milk, just the way I liked. He knew me so well, but I never did. How could have I been so oblivious? 

I put the tea contents in my cup and sit down on the couch, in front of the television. I switch on the lamp on the table next to me, and check the time on the clock. It's 3:34 a.m... I quickly gulp down my tea and decide to sleep

I make my way to my room and lay in bed. I pull the covers on me, and for once, I try not to think of Fitz. For once.

My thoughts are not going to bring you back. My thoughts aren't going to take me back to all the moments where I could've corrected myself, or done  something to save you.  My thoughts are not going to give me a chance to look at your deep, blue ocean coloured eyes one last time. They're never, because I have already lost you. And even though I'll wish, they are never going to take me to the moment when I could've killed Ward - my one and only true enemy.

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The End

So, how was it? I hope guys liked it. Make sure you leave comments. Thanks a lot. :)♡