In A Heartbeat

Chapter 11

Four Weeks Later...

It's getting warmer outside, I enjoy the enlightening nature and the sound of people going about their lives in their own little world. Here I see a diverse range of people and I absolutely love it. People have culture festivals almost every week apparently and I couldn't help but feel excited to witness other peoples culture. Not to mention the good.

I'm settled in my little loft apartment and Kane would see me here and there while he went to deal with a few things and work.

Today was so beautiful I made my way down to the beach and pull out a journal I bought downtown. I sat down on a blanket , pulled out my pen and took a sip of my Piña Colada smoothie. In this journal of mine, I established that I will right my little pieces of wisdom for my future children if I were to ever be blessed with any despite feeling as though I don't deserve them.

I looked out to the water, watched as the waves came close and overlapped each other in mesmerizing unison and I began to write.

To my future child/children:

Your mom was not the best of people, she made a lot of mistakes but there are a few things you can learn from me.

There is always a way out, whether that is from a bad relationship or a tough financial situation. The one advice is that you mustn't sink, you mustn't fall in despair. If life allows it your mom and your dad will be there to hold on to you in case you feel like this, but know that there will be times when neither mom or dad will be around. You must always look ahead. Always.

As I finished a few more pieces of advice I thought about going into the water and walk along the beach. I put my journal in my satchel and got up and walked towards the water. The cold water caresses my feet and the grains under my feet pressed into my flesh. The wind blew my hair out bad I lifted my arms. I tilted my head back , taking a deep breath and allowed the wind and the waves crash onto my skin. This was true bliss. I could stay in this paradise forever , right here on this beach I felt the perfect feeling of serenity , at one with the world in a peaceful hug. I walked over to get my bag and made my way down the shore feet buried in the water and sand in each step I take. I watched as a few families were having their sweet little quality time together in the water , which I found very shocking considering the fact that the weather isn't yet warm enough to do such a thing but I guess I have no place to talk since I buried my bare feet in the water. I watched as some people jogged on by. Incidentally, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like having a child and a man I can call my husband one day. Although I still believed that I don't deserve that kind of happiness or joy due to my actions the thought of baring a child for a man I love dearly excited me. A child that was made out of love from two loving parents who have their shit together.

The next few hours I embarked on a small journey around the town and bought a few items and made my way home. I couldn't help but feel so at peace. I just wish I could have been there with Kane.

I worried about Kane. He is hiding something from me. Well, perhaps not hiding something but he's just up to something no no that he thinks is not my business. Though it's worrying because what could he be doing . My instincts are telling me that it something dangerous. Kane and I have definitely gotten close over the last couple of months and I'm slowly finding out more about him the more we speak. We are so compatible. He brings out the soft side of me , I'm usually on guard and pretty gangsta but Kane brings out this gentle , nurturing spirit out of me. His voice makes me want to completely melt.

My phone goes off as I got out of the shower and I just dried my hair so I wiped off my hands and went to go answer. There he is. Kane.

" Hey Kane" I answer.