My Lover Boy

Shame

𝕊𝕙𝕒𝕞𝕖-𝕄𝕚𝕥𝕤𝕜𝕚

Thursday, October 27, 1977. The air was becoming colder and the leaves were falling as they turned golden orange and red. They made a crunching noise as Finn and Robin walked to the long haired boys' home.  Finn had been helping Robin with his math work since September because Robin "can't pay attention in that class", but that isn't the truth. Robin did need a bit of extra help, but his grade was passing before. He really just wanted to spend more time with Finn.

By helping Robin, he and Finn had became closer. They would always stay together in and out of school. Always sitting together at lunch and walking home together, occasionally to the same house. Robin mostly asked Finn to help him because he wanted to be with Finn all the time. Finn probably knew that because they wouldn't be doing the work half of the time. They mostly just sat in the living room watching movies or listening to his mothers records.

They reach the entrance of the boys house. Robin opened the door and stood to the side allowing Finn to enter first. He closed the door as he walked through. They found that they were the only ones home at the moment.

"So d'you wanna go to my room or the table?" Robin  asks as he takes his sweater off.

"Your room's fine" Finn replied taking his off as well.  They grabbed their bags and walked to his bed room in the back of the house.

While Finn is getting situated at the desk, Robin closes the door and opens the blinds, allowing the natural light through.

"Is there anything you need help with in particular?" Finn asks the other boy.

"Well I'm shit at algebra so we should probably start there" he replies.

Finn begun going into detail about some math formula, but Robin wasn't paying attention. He was distracted by Finn. He watched his facial expressions with ever word he spoke. Robin liked when he would stop to move his long, wavy blondish brown hair out of his hair out of his face. He liked seeing his caramel brown eyes glimmer in the light and his cheeks become rosey and pink when he complements his neat handwriting. But by far, his favorite thing about Finney was his smile. He loved seeing him smile after Robin completed a problem. It filled him up with joy when he saw Finney's smile.

He was snapped out of his thoughts and back into reality when Finn slipped Robin the paper with examples of the problem. Shit. Robin hadn't been paying attention at all.

"Um...can you explain that again?" He asks. He smiles when he sees Finn's.

"So what you need to do is find the value..." Finn goes on to explain the math, but Robin is quickly in his trance again.

Robin was handed the paper once again, but instead of giving it back he completed the problem. When Finn saw Robin complete the work his face lit up with joy.

"So um you wanna watch a movie or something?" The dark haired boy asks. "There's probably something on the tv"

"Yeah sure" the light haired boy replied.

The two of them move to the living room and lay on the floor in front of the square television. Robin turned it on and switched to a random channel showing a horror film. Robin loved horror movies, where as Finn hated them. He always felt embarrassed when he got scared and would cling to Robin's side. The movie they were watching was The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Robin's favorite. He had always been trying to get Finn to watch it, but he could never finish the whole thing.

"I hate this one" Finn said as soon as he saw what was playing. He immediately flinched half a second later as someone had just been slaughtered.

"You've seen this like 8 times" He says turning his head to look at Finney.

"And I've stopped it 8 times" He says looking at Robin. He jumped again, shielding his face from the small screen, burying his face into Robins neck while doing so. 

"It's all fake" he replies.

"It's scary" Finn whines and moves away from Robin's neck.

Today they got a lot further then before and Finn was squirming and jumping throughout the whole movie. They had gotten half way through the dinner scene when Finn had enough. He practically begged Robin to turn it off. He complied of course and did as he wished. He chuckled a bit too.

"Ohh shut up" Finney replies to his laughs with a playful nudge.

"Ok ok!" Robin says "I'll put something else on!" He laughs again.

After switching the channel to some random Halloween movie showing. the two boys decided that they where hungry.

"Wanna go get some snacks? I think I have some in the kitchen." Robin asks Finn. The other boy nods. Robin stands up before extending a hand out for Finn. He takes it, sending a warm feeling throughout Robins body.

The boys eagerly looking for the food. They came back with a bag of chips, two cans of coke, and some candy. Instead of laying on the floor like usually, the boys sit on the coach as the eat. Robin loves anything with sugar, he made that apparent as he scarfed down the candy, leaving a little for Finn like any good friend should. They sat on opposite ends of the couch, but slowly moved closer to each other as the movie progressed.

After a short while the sun had seat and so did Robin. He had fallen asleep on top of Finn barely after the first hour. He rests his head on the other boys lap and spreads his body along the couch. The awake boy runs his fingers through the boys dark, black hair. He takes a look at the clock plastered on the wall, seeing the time reading seven fourth-nine.

He shook the sleeping boy awake to tell him he needed to leave. The long haired boys' eyes slowly opened looking up to see Finn's eyes, he smiled.

"I need to get going" Finn told Robin as he started to get up from the other boy.

"Can't you just stay the night again?" He asked Finn.

"Can't" he shrugs "Wish I could though"

The two stand while Finn goes to get his bag from the boys room. Robin stays sitting on the couch, patiently waiting for him to return. He does, coming back wearing his green knit sweater.

"Thanks again for helping me" Robin says as he brings Finn in for a hug.

"Anytime you need" Finn replies.

The two boys stay standing together for a while. They slightly spread apart, only inches. They stair into each others brown eyes for a moment. Without giving it much thought, Robin slowly closes the gap between them. He presses his lips onto Finn's for a second before quickly retracting back. Finn was wide eyed and shocked before his expression changed.

His best friend had just kissed him. Not just his best friend, but another boy. Was Robin playing a joke on him? Was he like all the other boys at school that tease him? Or was this serious? Did Robin really like him?

Finn couldn't think before Robin pressed there lips together again, cupping his check with his cold hand.  Finn melted into the kiss some what. He was scared though. Was he really gay? He didn't want to be. He's not. He's not supposed to like fags, but here he is, standing in Robins living room kissing him. What really scared him was that he liked it.

He quickly pushed Robin off of him and backed away.

"I-Im really s-sorry" Robin was stumbling over his words. He knew he just messed up their friendship. "I-I don't k-know why I did that" tears forming in his eyes. This upset Finn. He was the one that cried, not Robin.

Finn was silent as he walked away. His eyes watered when he heard Robin call his name out. His voice was shaky and broken. He began to cry. He ran to his room when Finn walked out.

———

Finn didn't bother saying hello to his father, he was asleep on the couch anyways. He just ran to his room and floors down on his bed. He began to cry out into his pillow. He regrets running. He was just scared. Being around Robin would make him accept it, but he didn't want to. Finn Blake liked Robin Arellano.