The Seventh Avenger: Memories Never Die// Bucky Barnes

TWENTY: EXPERIMENT ON ME

"You should probably eat something."

My tired and barely open eyes flicker up to see Riley staring at me with sympathy lacing her pretty features, eyes pitying as they take in my exhausted and pale state before her. Her fingers fiddle with the plastic fork in her hand, eyes glancing between me and my plate of untouched food on the tray in front of me, lips caught in between her teeth with worry.

My own eyes glance down at the food, my stomach twisting even further with nausea at the sight. I don't think that I could eat something right now even if I wanted to. I'd most likely throw it back up before I can even properly swallow it.

"You - you don't look very well, is all."

"I'm not hungry."

"Eating usually helps before -" She clamps her mouth shut, not allowing herself to finish the sentence. Not that it matters; the damage has already been done. Stabbing at her food with the fork now, Riley sends me an apologetic look. "Sorry. I didn't - I mean, you should eat, is all."

Eating usually helps before the experiments; that is what she had been seconds away from saying. Knowing that she has no reason to lie and is only trying to do her best to offer me some form of comfort and advice in my hollowed state right now, I pick my fork up and spoon the smallest of mouthfuls of food into my dry mouth. The food sticks uncomfortably in my throat as I force myself to swallow it down, but the look of relief on Riley's face makes it worth it. Satisfied, she turns her attention back to the food in front of her.

As I expected it would, two days passed in a blur and here I am, sitting at our usual table in the cafeteria just mere hours away from being forced to begin my experiments. The past forty-eight hours have left me riddled with nightmares, intrusive and unwanted thoughts, as well as a sickening feeling of apprehension in my gut that has only continued to grow with every second of time that ticks by. Frantic, I have spent most of the previous two nights crawling through the vents, desperately searching for something that would lead me out of this hell, or at least be able to prevent my experiments from moving forward. But only disappointment has been there to greet me in my cell every night after each failed search, taunting me with the screams of other captives bouncing off the walls. My screams would soon blend in with theirs as well.

My eyes squeeze shut on their own accord as if trying to shy away from the memory of the horrid sounds, which have permanently been imprinted in my brain. I had known that the experiments would happen eventually, but I always thought that I would have more time.

"It's OK to be scared."

I peel my eyes open, blinking them at Riley across from me. When she sees that she has regained my attention, she continues, "I know that you're terrified because I was as well. Anyone in their right mind would be scared to the bone right now."

Terrified. Sick. Shaken. Angry. All these emotions, swirling around like an uncontrollable hurricane within me, setting my nerves ablaze and my worst nightmares to life. I have wondered since I was first told why I was brought in here what exactly my experimentation would entail. Now? It plagues my mind, and no matter how hard I try to distract myself from it, it won't go away.

Will it hurt?

Of course it will hurt - what kind of stupid question is that?

What exactly are they going do to me?

Turn you into some sort of monster for their own personal gain, that's what.

Will the experiments even work?

Doesn't matter. They'll kill you if they don't, so either way, you're screwed.