Worthless

Chapter One

[Ashley's POV]

Forever wishing somebody could understand me. I have had a terrible life already, I'm only 15, and I want to end it all.

My parents are never home, I have no friends. I sit in my room in the dark, and listen to music. Trying to avoid the cruel world that these people put me in.

I have tried to end my life several times, every time failed. I wish that I could just give up on this depression and be a normal teenager, but no that can not happen, can it?

I'm sitting in my room on a Sunday night. Its 3:00 in the morning, and I have to get up for school in about three hours. Great. I try to go to sleep, but at this time of night, my brain wants to overthink everything.

I have been doing this to myself for the past two years, and I wish I could just leave this awful world. The urge to cut right now is the strongest feeling I have ever felt. I know I shouldn't, but I can't resist that sharp blade, that cuts deep into my skin.

I take the blade out of my shirt that I have on a string, so it looks like a necklace, and start to cut. Watching the blood trickle out of my cuts makes me feel so happy. This is the only time that I ever smile. This addiction has become the best part of my day.
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I finally fall asleep, and then I hear my brother pounding on the door, telling me its time to get up for school. Yay. I layed in bed for another half an hour before I decide to get up. I finally got up to take a shower. I stopped and tooke a quick look at myself in the mirror. My hair is a mess, my eyes are red and puffy, I have tear stains on my cheecks, and I look bigger than four elephants put together.

I put up a towel on the mirror, so I didn't have to look at my ugly face anymore. When I get out of the shower I put my hair into a messy bun, not caring what it looks like. I put on a black, long sleeved sweatshirt, and some skinny jeans. Before walking out my bedroom door, I grab my ear buds, and go downstairs.

My brother, Kevin, made me breakfast like he usually does. I don't know why he even bothers. I never eat it. I can't eat it. I won't eat it. I have not had any food for a week now, and I am very proud of myself. I have had nothing, but water.

Kevin, beeped at me, from his car outside. That's my cue that I know its time to go. He is 16 years old, and has a job. He drops me off at school, on his way to work. He doesn't go because he is a high-school dropout.

The ride to school was silent, so I decided to put Pandora on, and listen to Fall Out Boy. They are my all time favorite band, and it would mean the world to me if I could go to one of their concerts. Oh yeah, that's right Ashley you are a low life piece of shit, so that can only happen in your dreams.

The car came to a stop, and I knew that I had to get out, and go to this living hell of a school. I said bye to Kevin, and started walking towards the front door. This is where the misery all started.
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So this is my first time ever writing anything like this, I know this was absolutely boring but hopefully it will get better through the book. Sorry for how bad my writing sucks, and that this chapter is so short.
Votes, comments, or feedback would be appreciated thanks :)