Falling - Hyunlix

Catching A Falling Angel

Felix tried his best to persuade Hyunjin he didn't need a trip to the hospital. He practically begged Hyunjin, even putting on his best puppy eyes. Although he should have known it was a lost cause when Hyunjin had to wipe blood off both their hands..

He knew he couldn't avoid it.

So now Hyunjin is in the waiting room, foot tapping on the floor as his eyes bore into the door Felix is behind. It had been less of a struggle than he originally thought to wrangle Felix in there. He went quietly. Silent. But the tight grip on Hyunjin's hand told him all he needed to know. Felix was scared. Well. Terrified is more accurate. Petrified even.

Nobody likes hospitals, but Felix possesses a deep-rooted hatred for them.

Hyunjin supposes that's why it hurt his heart so much to send Felix in there.

Felix was scared.

And he wasn't even allowed to hold his hand.

Just had to wait. Sit and wait. Why did he feel so useless?

And he keeps waiting. He waits and waits and waits. At some point he starts crying. He isn't sure when.

Then the door opens, and he's invited in. A small part of him, a tiny, terrified part doesn't want to step through the door.

But he does.

And his heart shatters.

Felix is sat on an examination table in a loose-fitting t-shirt. Hyunjin wonders if it's meant to be loose or if Felix really is just that thin.

Then his eyes move to the bandages around Felix's arms. Bandages that accentuate his little wrists. The same bandages are wrapped around his thighs - thighs that are too thin.

Why does Felix look so...unreal.

Like he isn't even there.

"...Lix?"

The door shuts behind them and Felix immediately bursts into sobs.

There's a crushing mix of distraught apologies spilling over Felix's lips, tears staining his sunken cheeks. As if his soul could gush a salty ocean through his eyes, Felix sobs like he'll be forbidden from every crying again. Crying like that...is a full acceptance of emotional turmoil. He's given up the weak barrier of social defence and completely succumbed to dejection and anguish.

Hyunjin doesn't know what to do.

In amongst the tears, he can see Felix's mind pleading for help and comfort and love. With gentle hands, Hyunjin engulfs Felix in a hug. Little hands claw at the shirt on his back, and he knows Felix has completely fallen and crashed into the ground.

"Lix..." Hyunjin rasps, "My sweet Lix, my wonderful boy."

He cups Felix's face, hands thumbing over his cheeks, "What's going on in that head of yours?"

It isn't really meant to be a question. Hyunjin just...he's just so lost. So confused. It's like he's grieving for someone who hasn't actually died. Grief removes you from everything you know, it leaves you nothing but an echo of what once was.

Felix keeps crying, awful hysterical wailing.

There's a lot of harsh judgement in that word: hysterical. Something cold and ridiculing where comfort and gentleness is desperately needed. But Felix really was crying hysterically, weeping like someone was wrenching the guttural cries from his very throat.

"Lix. Oh god, please tell me what to do to make it better," Hyunjin begs, "Please tell me how to fix everything."

Felix shakes his head into Hyunjin's shoulder - and Hyunjin knows that's Felix's way of telling he can't.