Nerd to be heard

Chapter 1

Charlotte

*Flash Back*
This was a cruel way for Camille to die.
I held Camille's hand as I cried softly over her arm.
"Don't cry, I'll be fine"
But I knew that was a lie, and I knew she wouldn't be alive much longer but I couldn't argue with her.

I forced a chuckle and spit out a lie, "I know"

Tears continued to stream down my face as I buried it into into my sleeve.

I sat and waited with her all night and every day until she ran out of them, which wasn't long.... Maybe a month.

Camille had always been there for me with those glistening cat eyes always there piercing through the very type of lies shes telling me now. She'd always been the stonger one, the one with all the answers, the type of girl who would slap girls I would only dare to glare at. She taught me to be me, to smile under pressure and stick up for myself.

I have no clue how I'm gonna face high school without her. Middle School was hard enough with her and now it's whole new catastrophe.

Camille squeezed my hand weakly and whispered shakily "I believe in you." she said with her last breath. That beeping I thought only happened in fiction fills my ears as tsunami tides wash over my cheeks.

Everything was blurry, the nurses, the doctors, the code blue, her parents, and Alice. I felt Alice grab my hand and pull me into the hallway into the loving scent of old lady. "Bubushka." Alice whispered into my head and I felt hot tears land on my scalp.

The doctors worked there butts off but I had no reason to believe that she'd lie. God created an angel now he was taking her away. Now they were taking her away. I peeked over Alice's shoulder just in time to see Camille's face for the last time.

*end flashback*

The sheets on my bed were as rough as the knives that dragged across my heart. The alarm had gone off and had woken up the baby

. I dragged my ass out of the warm sheets as I walked over to the cuteness that is my little sister. I saw her face plum and pink, I looked over to the half empty shelf that was my mothers and grabbed a "Bow ties are cool" outfit for my angel. She was barely three months old and today was going to be my first day without my sweet little girl. No way was I going to go to school. Not with this pain echoing in my hollow chest and I wasn't going to face those cold halls without Cam. God I missed her. I remember our goodbye like it was yesterday.

*Start flashback*

She would've loved this sea of black, but for me it seemed to swallow me up. I saw her mother and her father crying their eyes out in the front row. My dad's hand rested against my back and my moms rested on her swollen stomach. "Too bad she'll never meet Carmen" Would be the last thing I'd say for a while. We walked up the never ending aisle until we reached the pew next to the Harris' and Alice. Mrs. Harris sat with her eyes closed and tears leaking through the tight seal. Cam had always talked about being a lot like her mom, I remember how well they got along compared to my mom and I. She wore her clothes and stole her makeup more than she did mine.

The service was long and droning. her parents left the casket open for last goodbyes. Alice's speech had been short and sweet. "I'm Alice Cohen, Camille's Bubbe. She was a spirit none of you will ever forget." That's how the whole thing had ended. With an order I couldn't escape. I couldn't forget Camille even if I tried. She was so much of everything I am or ever will be.

The words came that I had been dreading. "Camille's best friend, Charlotte, has something prepared" I turned my head and took two deep breaths,

In

Out

In

Out

I got on the stage and tried my best to stop the tears but in that moment, they didn't matter. I looked at the crowd that had appeared and chuckled at the fact the Cam hated half of them. Its funny that I had to begin my speech with "good morning" when this is one of the worst mornings of my life.
"I'm sure Camille would've loved the color of everyones attire."
Everyone chuckled, even those crying.
"When I think of one word to describe Cam, I think of the word hope; Because whatever situation I was in , whether with a bully or me just having a bad day, I knew Cam would be there for me even if she physically wasn't there. She gave >No gives< me hope every day." Her mom cried even harder at the few words I had given.
I bit my tongue to keep me from overflowing like a river in flood season. "She had a very wild personality as most of you already know. One time Camille and I had gone down to the bookstore to read and drink coffee, when Camille went to go pee a girl from our school came up to me and started to push me around, call me a nerd, all that shit." few looked surprised at my language, I contuined. "I was a little 7th grader who was afraid of her own shadow so I waited for Camille to return and she'd take care of everything but it got so bad I had to do something. I stood up being the short girl I was and I shoved her into a table and said "Get out of here, no one wants your face around" but it turns out that Camille had been watching the entire time but wanted me to stand up for myself. But the point is, she made me who I am today and with out her-"
I stopped and held my head down. "I don't know what I'll be, but I know she'll never be seperated from me, she'll always be there, she'll never be dead not to me, and she'll always give me the hope I need."
I said thank you and walked off the stage, my mom grabbed me and kissed my head.

I stood up and turned my head to the damp grass of the Temple Israel's cemetery. I hadn't been able to look the her skinny body in the dress she wore to her Bat Mitzvah that had been a short 14 moths ago.

When I finally opened my eyes all I could see was the fact she was still wearing the necklace that I'd given to her in 5th grade. It was a piece of white rope with a wire flower and I'd used nail polish to give it the look of a white daisy.

As I stood in front of the cherry wood coffin that held my best friend I let it all loose. I must've sounded like a dying whale, but people just passed by, not even touching me.

When I finally thought I was out of tears I looked into her still pale face and bit my lip. I took my necklace of for the first time since I was 11. I had to do something so I touched the flower to my lips then to her cheek then I took hers off and traded our necklaces, I had the one her dead body had been wearing and she had mine. "I'll carry me with you always." were the last words I'd ever say to my best friend.

Then I grabbed a hold of my fathers hand and turned to face the world. Alone.

*Flashback ending*