12:51 Blaze It ( Julian Casablancas Fic )

Chapter 8 pt. 1

The next week goes by way too fast. Soon we're in Texas, the show goes down, we make love, then we're on the plane to Washington. Landing in Seattle, I start to get homesick. I used to live here. Everything was great. So why can't I stay?

One night, Julian and I take a walk along the beach, holding hands, watching the sunset.

"So, Nevada in three days, then Colorado after. Sound good?"

I shrug.

"What do you mean?" he asks, mimicking my shrug.

"I . . ." I can't form words.

"What's up, babe?" he asks, sliding his arm around my waist.

"I'm not coming back to New York," I blurt out. "I'm staying here."

He stops walking. His arm leaves my waist. ". . . what?"

I turn to face him. "I'm sorry, Jules, but I can't go back. I loved it here. I had it all, and I just . . . I can't go back to New York."

He stares down at the sand, his breathing heavy.

"Jules, you okay?"

"Wh . . . what am I doing wrong?" he asks, his voice cracking.

My eyes widen. "Shit, Julian, it's not your fault." I tell him. "I just miss this place, alright? It's got nothing to do with you."

He shakes his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"God dammit, babe," I sigh, moving to him and wrapping my arms around him. He holds me lightly, and I press my face into his chest. "It's not your fault."

He tangles his fingers in my hair, holding me tighter.

"Stay with me," I suggest.

He lets go and looks down at me. "What?"

"Just stay with me here, Jules! You'd love it here, it'll be great!"

"I can't do that, Liz, as much as I want to, I can't. I have the band, we have the tour."

"How's about I go with you on the rest of the tour with you, and then you and I come back here?"

"We have Tuesday night gigs at the bar," he says with a frown, his eyes brimming with tears. "Please, just come back to New York with us, I'll do anything I can to get you to stay."

I shake my head and look down.

With a sigh, he grabs my hand again and keeps walking along the beach. We make it back to the hotel at about ten, the rest of the walk in silence. After changing, we both crawl into bed, still not saying a word. We both lay on our backs, so I look over at Julian. I move over and wrap my hand in his, but he just shrugs me off and rolls over on his side, facing away from me. I let out a sigh and close my eyes, but it's not worth sleeping. I can't.

Hours later, I get out of bed silently, a drink sounding perfect at the moment. I grab a bottle of scotch from the mini bar and pour myself a glass. I step out onto the patio, taking in a breath of fresh air before slamming my drink. Then I sit down on the lawn chair, leaning my head back and running my fingers through my hair.

I flinch at the sound of the patio door open behind me, looking up at Julian as he leans against the doorframe."Come back to bed, Liz," he says, his voice raspy.

I nod, standing up and following him back into the hotel. I lay in bed with him, getting warm under the covers before he wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to his body. "Please," he whispers, "just finish the tour with us, come back to New York. We can talk it through, okay?"

I sigh. "Okay."

Julian kisses my cheek, then my lips, rolling over and positioning himself above my body.

"Jules, what're you doing?" I ask, eyes closed.

He kisses my neck. "Might as well check Washington off the list too, huh?"

I smile and open my eyes, running my hands through his hair before kissing him on the mouth. I take off my tank top and slide my panties down to my ankles, letting him work off his shirt and trousers. I kiss him again before he slips into me, slowly, steadily. I let out a soft sigh, closing my eyes at the feeling. He begins a careful rhythm up into me, his hips rolling around smoothly. I moan with every motion, Julian placing kisses along my neck, keeping it calm and sensual as I near climax, trying my best to keep in my noises of pleasure. A small squeal escapes my mouth, which he silences with a kiss. Soon he comes as well, finishing with three long, final thrusts up into me.

He gives me one more kiss on the mouth, brushing my bangs out of my eyes and smiling gently at me.

I return the favour, but on the inside, I'm still conflicted.