A college grad student that is trying to figure out life around her comes across a man that seemed to be everything she was looking for, but will he fall as hard as she did?
Jaylin Doherty thought she was making the best moves in her life to get to...
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1288 words
"Why did we have to watch this?" I groaned with a pout on my lips to Alyssa when I passed her the bag of chips.
"Because it's something you should see at least once!" She shouted. "Now, SHH".
We just had to watch a halloween horror movie on my night free from lesson planning and homework. Now, I will be up all night.
No matter how much sleep I got tonight, I had to be up by 5:30am the next morning with a smile by 7am for my first graders.
I am a full time graduate student at a state college finishing my Master's degree in Elementary Education. Thank god. On top of that, I am a co-teacher this year in a first grade class as part of my practicum. Luckily, the practicum counts as half my credits this year, so my college load isn't too bad. Still enough to complain about though.
How do I balance it all at only 21? With the help of my family, friends, therapy and what I call happy pills (not illegal drugs, I promise).
My parents are the only reason I was able to get my double bachelor's degree in three years instead of four. Yeah, yeah. Overachiever, I know. It partners well with my people-pleasing.
Anyways, back to the movie. Fortunately, it was already half way over and my plan of barely watching it was working. I have been thinking about anything besides the gory mess that's been displayed on the screen. God, I hate horror movies.
"I am going to go grab my water, do you want anything?" I ask while taking the fuzzy blanket off of me to get up from the couch.
Alyssa was too consumed by the awful plot to hear my question. "Wah?" She mumbled not taking her eyes off the screen.
"Never mind" I said calmly, walking into the small kitchen.
It was a simple two bedroom apartment, nothing fancy, but clean and well maintained. Living in Massachusetts is expensive and this was the best kept apartment we had seen that wasn't over $2,300 a month.
I checked my phone that I had put on the counter to charge. No messages, no emails of interest, nothing. I deleted the crappy advertisement emails and put my phone back down.
I turned around and looked in the fridge. We had plenty of food, just nothing I wanted at the moment. I closed the doors and checked my phone again, apparently thinking something would change in the minute I was gone.
I unplugged my phone and went back to the couch. "Jaylin! You gotta see who just texted me and what they said," she said with excitement.
That peaked my curiosity as I padded back to the living room. I was thankful the movie was no longer the main topic.
"Who?" I asked trying to think. It couldn't be a relative, she wouldn't be enthusiastic about that. Maybe a friend? Again, wouldn't be this thrilled over them.
"It's someone from our first year of college." She gave me a hint. That narrowed it down a little, but it felt like our little dorm life was forever ago. She had liked plenty of people, guys and girls, that year. We also ran into many we weren't fond of, including a friendship with two girls that ended badly.
"Was it someone we liked, or not so much?" I asked, determined to get this answer.
"Liked and then was supposed to study abroad before the pandemic hit" She replied with her eyebrows quirked, wondering if I will remember.
I knew instantly with that clue, "Jack?!" She hadn't spoken to him in years. His plan then was to study abroad in Ireland for his senior year of college. Once everything went remote and we didn't run into him in our dorm building, conversation between them died down to only snapchat and then stopped altogether.
She nodded her head quickly and words came out of her mouth so fast, I could barely keep up.
"He sent me a really long message about how he knows we haven't talked in a while, but we had a good friendship back then and that a memory from snapchat had come up on his feed that reminded him of me. He is asking how I am and if I want to do something with him sometime."
"That's awesome! How do you feel about it?" I ask, never sure of how she views friendships besides ours.
"I mean, I literally haven't talked to anyone besides Cole since leaving campus, and we broke up months ago. It could be nice seeing him again," she expresses with thought.
I sit back on the couch facing her while she stares down at his message thinking to herself now. "You could just answer the part about how you are and just talk to him again before agreeing to anything," I suggest.
She nods her head, beginning to type a reply to him. The rest of the movie we are on our phones, her talking to Jack and me scrolling through Instagram and Pinterest.
To be completely honest, I thought Jack was good looking and when we first met him and his roommate I was totally crushing and trying to flirt... such a teenage thing to say. When he seemed to enjoy Alyssa's company more during the campus event, I backed off.
I could totally understand and be okay with the fact that he liked her more than me. But there is always that voice in the back of my mind wondering if it was because of our very different appearances.
Alyssa is an average height, bright blonde girl with a thin figure. She can pull of any outfit or look she wanted. She can dress up or dress down and still look put together.
I, however, am a dirty blonde, plus-sized girl. I always have been heavy, and most likely always will be. I wore a size large or extra large all throughout my childhood with my thoughts constantly on how I wish I could change my body. Usually I dreamed about a smaller stomach, or to weigh less, or to have less of a double chin.
Only in recent years, have I been able to find peace with my body. My brain of course challenges me sometimes, but deciding to not believe in those protruding negative thoughts has helped me gain the confidence I wish I had in high school, and even the years before.
I have grown to accept my body, thankfully. But, it still is hard to imagine finding someone that is affectionate and loves the way I look if it took so long for me to.
Jack was just a little taller than both Alyssa and I. He was lean with a little muscle in his arms, from what you could tell with a t-shirt on. He had strong facial features, in contrast with his timid personality.
I continued to scroll through Pinterest saving ideas for projects and lessons to do with my first graders down the line. Luckily as a first year teacher, my enthusiasm isn't lacking when it comes to teaching.
After a while I decided to try my luck on Bumble for the umpteenth million time. It was the only dating app I found some success at but those occasions were quick to fizzle out after an initial match. I wouldn't be on a dating app if I thought I would be able to get a date in person easily. With my lack of an active and broad social life and no in person graduate classes, where was I going to find a guy out in "the real world?"
