The Assorted Chapters

Parked in Love & Pain

Joseph parked his car in the dark empty lot behind the fast-food restaurant where he'd just ordered from for himself and his girlfriend, Laura. He sat there staring ahead, not even opening the bag of food. Laura, on the other hand, took the bag and pulled out a burger and fries and took a big bite of both. "Aren't you going to eat?" She asked, her mouth full of burger.

"I'm not hungry," he said quietly, fidgeting with the small heart-shaped ring on his finger that rested on the steering wheel, which matched a smaller one on Laura's finger.  "So why did you ask me to get food with you? Is something wrong?"

He didn't say anything, but he bounced his leg anxiously. Laura furrowed her eyebrows and swallowed her burger after noticing his stress. "What's the matter, Joe?" She inquired softly and concerned and turned her full attention to him. The two fell silent for a few seconds, but not completely as the sound of crickets chirping filled the air before he finally brought himself to speak. "I think we made a mistake," he blatantly said, his gaze fixed ahead.

Her heart suddenly sank. She didn't have to ask what he meant because she already knew, but hearing him say it was too real for her. "What are you talking about?" she inquired, just to be sure.

"Come on Laura, you know what I'm talking about. Do I really have to say it?" His tone remained as he turned to face the brunette and looked her in the eyes. He could already tell what was going to happen based on the familiar glowering expression stuck on her face.

"Yes, you do. As stupid as I feel right now is as stupid as I want you to hear how you sound. So say it." She said after re-adjusted herself in her seat, now leaning back against the car door and facing him, her eyebrows furrowed and her tone growing louder.

"Stupid? How do I sound stupid Laura? You think it's a good idea for the two of us who can barely even care for themselves to become...parents? Do you really believe that?"

"You sound stupid because this isn't something you can just change your mind about and expect me to just be A-okay with. You're so got damn cynical I can't believe you right now. Actually, I can believe you right now because you always do this shit and I always fall for it like the idiot I am."

Joseph exhaled and rolled his eyes and head away from her before returning his gaze to her. "What shit? Realizing we may have made a mistake and saying it? That shit, Laura?"

"Playing with my emotions Joseph! You tell me one thing, then turn around and say something else like I'm not affected by what you say and do! I'm sick of it!"

"Laura can we please just focus on what's important right now?" he stressed.

"Oh, so my feelings aren't important anymore? Got it," She said and started to exit the car but Joseph quickly and aggressively reached over and shut the door, stopping her from doing so. "What the hell is wrong with you!? Move!" She yelled while attempting to slap the man's arm away, but struggled because of the firm grip he had on the door handle.

"I don't want a fucking baby Laura that's what's wrong with me!!" He barked in a britsling tone before he returned back to the driver's side of the car.

"What do you mean you don't want a baby this was your idea in the first place!! YOU told me that YOU didn't care about anything else and were ready to start a family with me. That's what you told me and now that I'm giving you what you...what we both want, You don't want it! Isn't that crazy!? Make it make even just a little bit of fucking sense!" She laughed in disbelief.

"We both don't want anything. YOU want it. I know what I said but I was just in the goddamn moment Laura!! Why don't you understand that what we're getting ourselves into isn't good!? We should be living our lives having fun and being "young and dumb" while we still can! Not taking care of and raising some child like-like we're a married couple..."

"Making the decision to get your own girlfriend pregnant isn't just a "in the moment" thing Joseph! You can't...ohh my god. You can't just do that!" Her voice broke between words as it was now becoming hoarse from the sho ring contest between the two.

"Were you also "Just in the moment" all those times you told me you loved me? Were you "Just in the moment" when you told me you wanted to be together forever and that I was the only girl you loved? Were you, Joseph?! Oh my god, it's someone else isn't there." She fell back in her seat, her voice brittle.

"For fuck sake Laura. I say I don't want a baby and you accuse me of cheating. Listen to yourself!" He said, dragging out the U in "fuck". "Why do you care so much about having a baby in the first place when we have each other? Is that not enough??

"Because unlike you, I wasn't just in the moment when I said all of those things back to you-you selfish prick! I wasn't just in the moment when I told you I wanted to start a family with you and be together forever Joseph! I wasn't!!" Painfully, she yelled as loud as her voice allowed her to, if not louder, with tears now streaming down her cheeks. "Joseph, is there somebody else?" her tone lowered.

The man passed for a few seconds in thought. He tried his very best not to let the tears stream but he knew even a blink would make him crack.

"No. There's nobody else," he replied in a calmer and honest tone. Laura felt just a hint of relief lift from her chest but still, her heart felt as if it were in his palms being squeezed like a stress ball.

Then, he broke.

"What if I'm not a good father Laura? Or What if I cause more harm to it than anything else? I feel like I can barely even take care of myself as it is and just the thought of having to take on the responsibility of a whole other human is just...impossible to me. I just don't want to fuck up anymore," he confessed.

"Joseph, it's not impossible and you're definitely not the first or only person to ever feel this way. Nobody is ever truly ready for something like this but that's why we have to try. together. I really want this with you. We may not be in the most comfortable spot in our lives but Joseph, I love you. I love you so much and you're the only guy that I can even imagine this with." She gently placed her hand on his forearm which was now resting on the armrest.

"You really think we could do this?" He met the girl's gaze. She responded with a genuine smile and a gentle nod while staring back into his eyes.

"Okay. We'll do this together then. Ready or not, I will love you and our baby no matter what," he smiled before pulling her into a big hug and holding her tight.

"Hey, don't get your snot in my hair," Lauras muffled voice half joked. The two shared a good laugh before finally cranking the car and heading their way home.

The End.