The Red in the Water

A/N: This is a fanfiction for CLAMPS epic series Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.

Disclaimer: Anything even remotely resembling something from Tsubasa Chronicle or CLAMP is obviously not mine.

Warnings: Some self mutilation, a bit dark in the middle but it gets better. I promise. ;)

The Red in the Water

The three quarter moon glowed dimly in the star filled sky. Thin, wispy clouds made their way steadily across the illuminated orb, dulling its glow ever so slightly. Only to have a gentle breeze brush them idly aside again revealing the silvery light to the half asleep world once more.

Night had fallen on the futuristic world of Piffle. But the skylights continued to twinkle on into the night and would continue to do so until morning. Hover cars and the occasional dragonfly were still darting about their business, if a bit more lethargically.

Inside a large trailer situated on an otherwise empty platform, the man of the house was on his way out to replenish the sorely missed supply of sake. But he would be sure to hide it next time so the other, less sane members of his makeshift family didn't find it and abuse it. Like they had tonight.

A young boy with scraggily brown hair was sprawled out, unconscious on the living room couch. Light snores were heard echoing in the almost absolute silence. Half full and empty bottles of sake littered the coffee table and the floor of the living room. The smell of alcohol lingered in the air as it slowly filtered out through the windows, left slightly cracked for ventilation purposes.

A young girl with rich, honey colored hair was curled up on a small bed in a little, enclosed alcove. A tiny, white, rabbit-like creature was snuggled up in her embrace, mumbling something about "laundry machines" and "silly sakura."

Only a single sound was heard in the whole structure. Water. Rushing water. Splashing water. Running water. And it was coming from the decent sized bathroom near the rear of the trailer currently occupied by the sole remaining occupant left awake in the lonely structure.

He sat on the tile floor as the water cascaded around him. He was curled in a ball with his clothes soaking wet and clinging to his body like a second skin. His tears were hot against his cheeks, a sharp contrast to the freezing cascade from the showerhead, plastering his pale blonde hair to his head. He shivered.

He hated himself. His hand clenched around the blade of the tiny razor. He just wanted to disappear, to vanish without a trace. Maybe then he would forgiven. Maybe then he would forget.

Forget his home. Forget his parents. Forget his twin brother. Forget the screams of his people. Forget his own screams. Forget his life. Forget everything. To forget...

He raised his head and gazed at the razor. He watched as the blade slipped down his wrist. He watched red mingle with clear. The way it swirled about reminded him of another time, another place when blood mixed with water. Another's blood. Many other's blood.

No! I want to forget, not remember!

He cut again, and again, and again. He sobbed from the physical pain and the remembered pain. Pain he wanted to forget. To FORGET!

Screams.

No.

Cries.

No.

Sobs.

Stop.

Pain.

No!

Loss.

Enough!

Death.

No, please!

Betrayal.

No-o!

Abandonment.

No, no! Please, no!

Fear.

Please.

Surrender.

...no...

"Fai?"

Blue eyes snapped open in horror. No. He can't see me. Not like this. But he couldn't bring his body to move. The red still swirled in the clear water.

"Fai?"

The closeness of the voice startled him. He looked up and saw him. Spiky raven black hair framed a ruggedly handsome face set with two crimson eyes. A stubble beard under the bottom lip and a well built body completed the image.

The ninja stared first at the blonde's face, blood red meeting watery blue. Then he let them slip down to the still bleeding wrist and the tiny blade still clasped tightly in the unwounded hand.

Somehow, the blonde had missed the sound of the shower door opening. But he didn't have long to consider this because...

"What the- What the hell do you think you're doing, idiot mage!" Kurogane scolded, or tried to. His voice was too full of worry to scold correctly. He knelt down and cradled the wounded wrist in his large, calloused hands. With incredible self control, he suppressed his fury. Now was not the time or the place to explode. He could do that later. Now he focused on keeping his companion alive.

He studied the cuts; none of them were deep enough to be fatal and the blood flow was slowing. Next, he ripped the razor blade from Fai's other hand and tossed it down the drain. Then, he met the other's eyes again.

They weren't frozen glacier chips as they usually were. Today, they were open, soul laid bare. Kurogane saw pain and sadness to last a lifetime swimming in those blue eyes. It broke his heart to see all that suffering. So this is what was hidden behind that plastic smile he always wears. This is what he was hiding.

He noticed the cold water hitting body only when he saw the slender, delicate body before him shiver. He reached up and turned the shower knob to "hot." The abrupt transition in temperature caused his body to tense before relaxing into the heat. Returning his gaze back to the still shivering blonde, he noticed tears flowing from those soulful, blue eyes and something inside him cracked. He pulled his companion to his chest and just held him.

Fai relaxed into his secret crush's embrace and wept. All the sorrow and pain he kept within him poured out as if the flood gates had been opened. He wept until his strength was depleted.

Kurogane just sat under the warm water and cradled the emotionally broken Fai. "Honestly, how many times do I have to tell you? Come to me when you need to talk about something. Don't take it out on yourself," he sighed.

Fai sputtered a laugh before his breathing slowed until he fell asleep. Kurogane sighed in mild annoyance but settled down into a comfortable position and whispered, "Stupid." The he joined his lover in a pleasant nap.