The next day it was hard to look at Sylvia.
That or hard to look away.
I caught myself staring at her often and just admiring her, from her neatly tied up dusky hair, all the way to the way she smiled and slightly waved when she caught me staring at her. This stupid crush was making it even harder for me to do anything without thinking about Sylvia. It was obvious she'd never like me, no matter how much I liked her. I wanted to simply rip my heart out and change time so I would have a crush on some other boy.
The bell rung all the sudden and it was time for my lunch period, I got up and rushed to the cafeteria and tried to not make eye contact. This felt like the end of the world for me, the sound was all the sudden the most overwhelming thing I'd ever heard, the kids tossing their trash across tables was the most irritating thing I've witnessed.
The thing I've noticed and no one else has probably ever said?
The worst part about having a crush on your best friend is the never ending dread and shame of not being content with your current relationship and wanting more despite the fact you know it'll never go both ways.
My world was falling apart and I was just sitting there letting it happen.
authors note: best work yet!! chapters are really short but i'll be putting out a lot more.
