Warm Winters

Part 1: Alina Hayat

There's something comforting about the blistering cold of a snowy day.

The delicate skin of each passing person seems to be penetrated by piercing shards of nothing. I hated how my fingers were numb as they scrambled to hold my bellowing clothing. I hated the slippery snow beneath my feet threatening to injure the little determination that I had. Most importantly, I hated how easy it was to hate everything so quickly.

Distracted by self-wallowing, I cursed as gusts of wind escaped and ruffled my maroon hijab that mind you took me half an hour to fix this morning. It was as if the wind was a natural Islamophobe to hijabis. I hastily pulled myself into the folds of my coat more tightly. I was wearing blue jeans with a striped pullover under a thick coat, but I still felt very cold.

Waves of laughter traveled from a nearby group of college students. I could not help but feel slightly jealous and angry at their easygoing nature as I struggled to walk on my own feet. College really felt shitty with no one else but yourself and endless bickering conversations with your conscious.

A loud chuckle distracted me from my thoughts as I crossed the street to the sidewalk across. 

Dark hair ruffled in the air as laughter escaped from Matthew Lin. He was laughing at something his friend whispered. Matthew was always laughing whenever I had seen him. Ever since elementary school, he had been the center of attention. It always intrigued and scared me how jovial someone could be. He always seemed to have a blanket of comfort surrounding him even in this bitter cold.

Jealousy pooled in the pit of my stomach.

Where was this happiness for me?