Stray Kids | e. munson

FOUR

TW: mention of parent death, lola points a gun at eddie's head!

Lola was cute when she was angry, Eddie thought. The little scrunch of her pert nose, the clenching of her small hands at her sides, the redness of her cheeks. It was the most adorable thing he'd ever witnessed.

He hadn't meant to provoke her, not originally, anyway. All he'd wanted was for her to sit with him and his friends for lunch. He hadn't expected her to make conversation, so when she just opened her book and continued reading, he hadn't minded at all. Eddie was just happy she was with people. Because that's what she needed – to know that no matter how much she secluded herself or how angry she pretended to be, there were still people who didn't want to see her disappear.

That's exactly what she was doing; trying to withdraw enough so she'd eventually just vanish into thin air. Lola didn't spend too much time doing anything she loved because it would give her a reason to try. If she loved nothing and no one, the emptiness could swallow her up without any repercussions. She could leave this existence behind without hurting anyone in the process.

Eddie couldn't allow that to happen. Probably more than anyone, he understood what being lost felt like. And he understood her temptation to remain that way. Once upon a time, he'd even been the same. But then he found Jeff and Gareth and Matt and role-playing games. It wasn't much, but it was enough to pull him back from the desolation. The inside jokes, the sense of belonging, the creation of monsters and heroes and campaigns – it was enough to fill the emptiness. It was enough to make him want to be alive. Not to just survive, but to actually live.

While he hadn't gotten to know Lola too well before she'd become the hollow shell she was now, Eddie could sense there was something rumbling beneath the façade. Something desperate to claw its way out and breach the surface. And maybe what worked for him wouldn't work for her, but he had to try. Right?

He had to try.

So, even though the entire walk home Lola just called him annoying and ranted about how she knew nothing of D&D or conventions, and of how much better classical literature was compared to modern fiction, he couldn't help but feel elated. That anger coursing through her, he wanted Lola to hold onto it with a vice grip. He wanted her to keep yelling, to keep punching his arm every time he made a joke about how ancient her taste in books was. Because feeling her fury was better than feeling nothing at all.

When they finally arrived back at Forest Hills, Eddie found himself immediately hating the idea of parting from her. So, he offered what little weed he had left, and suggested renting the second Halloween movie from Family Video. But Lola declined, saying she needed a shower and food that didn't taste like the cardboard noodles Hawkins High had provided. And, because he knew what little progress he'd made with her could be easily destroyed with too much enthusiasm, Eddie just let her walk across the patch of dead grass separating their homes without further argument.

He'd tried not to worry too much about her. He busied his hands with assembling miniatures for Hellfire for a while and then borrowed his uncle's van and made a stop at his supplier's house by the lake. Rick, or Reefer Rick as most people called him, gave Eddie double the amount of weed compared to last time since he'd 'sold' it so quickly. It was easy enough to get rid of – most kids in Hawkins used it recreationally at parties or the lake or before going to the community pool. Eddie wasn't worried about the money Lola owed him. He made enough in sales that fronting the cash for a while wasn't a problem.

Eddie had half expected her to barge into his trailer again considering the high from this morning had worn off hours ago, but she didn't. The sun had set and the moon rose without any interruption. And, even though he'd made every effort not to, Eddie was becoming increasingly anxious that she'd done something reckless. Lola had said the other day at Skull Rock that she'd find another dealer. What if she made good on her threat and something bad happened to her? What if she was forced to exchange something other than cash because she was desperate and out of money? There were only three other dealers in town, and Eddie knew for certain that not a single one of them could be trusted. Especially with a girl like Lola.