Just A Game

3. Who are you?

I couldn't hear anything. I was so shocked when I saw the car coming that all my senses were shut off. Kurt had saved me. He pushed me off the road, lucky that he didn't get hit himself. I fell on the side of the street face-first into the ground. I still couldn't hear anything. My mouth was open and I wanted to believe I was saying something, but I couldn't hear anything. My heart was just hurting so much. It felt like there was a huge golf ball stuck in my throat like I was suffocating.

My body was flipped over by strong arms. Then I felt stinging next to my temple, at my knees and on my arms. My body was hurting greatly just like my heart. If this was what dying felt like, then I was sure close to my deathbed.

One name came to mind,

Shane.

Then my hearing came back but I nearly became deaf as I was hearing an ear-piercing sound. I'm screaming, I thought. And I was right, I was screaming. I was screaming my heart out whilst crying. Kurt and Drea stood over me. Both of them looked worried. Drea had tears streaming down her face like Tugela Falls but I was sure my tears had resemblance to Niagara Falls.

"Effy!" Kurt shouted in my face, shaking me. I stopped my screaming and looked up at him. His face was red and there was drool kind of seeping out from the corners of his mouth. His hair fell kind of floppy over his forehead.

"Oh my god, is she ok?" Drea stopped pacing in the back, hovering over me again a horrified look on her face.

"I'm fine" I got up wiping my tears away, not wanting them to see me so weak and fragile. "I should've never came to this stupid party" I whispered and got up. The frosty air bit at my skin. I felt like a zombie as I began walking down the street's sidewalk. "Don't follow me" I whispered when I was just a couple of feet away. Mentally praying that they would actually listen and not follow me.

Ok, that car did almost hit me. I know that. And yes, I'm grateful Kurt had saved me and I am aware I didn't say thank you but I couldn't find the words to. Thank you would've been a nice start, my mind mocked. I shook my head trying not to think too much into it. What I really wanted to focus on was Shane. The guy who had my heart and then crushed it with his bare hands. The guy who was looking incredibly handsome tonight. The guy I failed at avoiding for the rest of high school.

I wanted to go home and lay in my bed, listen to sad songs and cry myself to sleep. But I couldn't. I didn't know why I was crying. I mean I know why I'm crying, I just don't think I should be doing it. We broke up a year ago. He treated me like scum but finally he was out of my life. Just because I so happen to catch him at Talia's party, shocked to see him after nearly a whole year, didn't mean I had to cry over it. I cried back then. I've grown and changed.

Like magic, the tears were gone. My face was dry and puffy but at least the tears were gone. After taking the rubber band around my wrist off, I tied my hair up with it. I could literally hear the vocals in Defying Gravity being sung in my head.

Effy, why are you so hung up on this guy? For crying out loud, you essentially were about to get killed tonight running from him. He's nothing but a selfish, manipulative bastard. For all you should care, he could go jump off a cliff. I grimaced at my thoughts, honestly didn't think it would be so harsh but it was after all my thoughts. It's his lost. He lost me and he should be the one crying over me. Ever since our break up something changed. I wasn't the same. And truthfully, the new me made me happy.

The me who didn't care what anyone thought. What Shane thought.

Of course I still had insecurities like every human being but I wasn't going to let him or anyone else bring me down. I'm over accepting what he thought of me, because he didn't love me like I thought he did and I didn't love him like I was stupid to believe. After asking myself, "Who are you?" repeatedly I came to the conclusion that I wasn't the girl to be treated like crap and to just take it. I'm Effy. Question is, who is he? Nobody worth it.