To all of the stars

Chapter 1 (Empty)

. . .

..

     Huh Yunjin. The dream girl. Pretty with big brownish eyes, slim body, cool friend and girlfriend to her ex-boyfriend/fiancé Hyungwon. They were supposed to wed by January but the relationship ended when Hyungwon had some personal problems, causing for the relationship to fail. The break up isn't really complicated. Yunjin took the first step away so Hyungwon could move on and think more clearly about himself. 

     Yunjin tends to sacrifice a lot. But she can't see it. Because she always believed that she's meant to sacrifice everything. Even her own happiness.  Even with walking away from the person she admires and treasures a lot. It's a good 4 year relationship anyway. And she really did not expect anything from it. Even if they are set to be married, it all felt surreal to believe. So she just lived day by day waiting for the wedding to happen. If it ever happens. But it never did. 

     She was just happy to be chosen by Hyungwon everyday. That when Hyungwon couldn't voice out anything because he's too guilty to leave Yunjin, she was the one to tell him to leave and gave him his freedom without any second thoughts then packed up her things and walked away. 

     Irony because they became a couple on New Years eve only to break up on April Fools.

     And now it's August, Yunjin was getting used with her life alone. There are still times when she remembers Hyungwon. But she just kept it within her. She decided to stay single for a while, not to heal because she's not really broken. But to spoil herself. She decided to try to love herself with the love that she's willing to give others. To spoil herself with the needs that she's willing to serve someone important to her. 

    And now that she's thinking about spoiling herself. She realized how low the salary is for nurses like her in her own country. Should she just go and work abroad just like her friends? But how?, She don't know anyone from any agencies, she don't have a passport, she don't even have any valid IDs. She's just Huh Yunjin unknown unknown and nothing else.

    She went out of the hospital grounds to smoke a bit. It was fine since she got permission from the head nurse since the head nurse smokes as well.

   She lighted the cigarette as she started to overthink again.

   Blowing out the smoke she can't help but stare at the night skies. So bright, too many stars. But somehow deep inside her, she doesn't feel the same way as when she was stargazing before.

   Back when she was in high school, and she used to be so obsessed with stars and moons that she ends up memorizing the constellations. And when she studied college, her interests grew bigger and she got so curious about palmistry that when she met someone new she would ask them to hold out their hands for her to see their palms. She don't know anything about palmistry, but she could see simple things. Although she cant be a hundred percent right and sure. But she once saw the hands of her subordinate and asked her how many kids she have and her subordinate said she only have one child, Yunjin was confused because she saw another line meaning she have another child. But at the end of that year, her subordinate really got pregnant and thanked Yunjin for it. But then, she stopped seeing palms and even lost interest in stars for some reason. 

  Sure it's not about Hyungwon because they never stargaze. The whole relationship just revolves around Hyungwon anyway. On Yunjin's point of view that is.

   But to Hyungwon, who knows?

"But it doesn't matter anymore right?, I've cried enough, my heart's been torn enough, if I can't feel anything for the stars anymore, then maybe I went back to being numb right?" she muttered to herself then threw the cigarette butt on a bin.