My life, my pain

30 days before

Samantha's POV

Hi I'm Samantha Josephine Young, I've just turned 13, and I hate myself, I can't stand the way I look and I want to be like my older sister, Amber Caitlyn Young. We were close until she got prettier while I stayed the same.

You see, we are in the same year but I'm younger, she tells me everyday how pretty I am but I refuse to believe her. She's lying to me, she gets all the guys and all of the girls want to be her, including me. So this is my life, and let me tell you my story.

At the age of 4 and Amber was 6, my father killed my mother, horrible, gruesome death. Right in front of Amber. She covered my eyes so the screams haunt me to this day. 3 days later Amber started to get abused, I watched screaming, but I couldn't stop my dad. To this day, we both get abused, amber more than me, but she protects me. And I'll never be able to say thanks. But when he's gone. I'm gone too. In 30 days I'm going to kill myself. So this is for my sister to read, to tell her I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm a bad sister, I'm so sorry. But now it's time for school, another day in hell.

I close my diary and put on my large clothes, to hide the scars. And I hear Amber scream, dad must be hurting he again. But I'm frozen in shock. 5 minutes later I run and Ambers on the floor, crying.

" Go Sammy, run before he comes back" she whispers. I shake my head and tried to help her up but she slaps me. That's going to leave a mark.
" fuck off Samantha" she screams as I run down stairs and out the door. I slide to the floor and cry, my face still stinging from ambers slap.
Hopefully she will be at school soon. And not dead on the floor. I start walking the 4kms I have to get to school.