All I Want

If you wanted to define the look of sadness, that was the look on his face. The bright sun had been covered in dark clouds, and all it could do was rain, thunder and all.

It hit him like a wave, and it came again and again like an ocean.

___

Kageyama stood, stunned. He swears he felt his heart sink, but he stood with his face just emotionless, "What? You're moving?"

With a nod to confirm, his heart cracked.

"My mom got a new, better job. Down in Hiroshima." Hinata tried to look anywhere but at Kageyama, he'd study the color on the wall, focus on people's feet passing by, doorways, memorize classrooms nearby. Just don't look at Kageyama. He kept telling himself that, as if it would hurt any less for either of them.

Hinata never wanted to leave, Karasuno brought him happiness. He'd be useless at another school, he'd miss the feeling those quicks and freak quicks left on his hand, the thrill of locking eyes with Kageyama while he ran up to the net with everyone else, being the decoy. He'd miss Noya and Tanaka's energy and Sugawara's gentleness.

He'd miss the feeling of having a connection with the team he adored, the people he adored.

His family.

"Hiroshima? Hinata you can't," Kageyama reached out, gripping onto the shoulders below him, squeezing them as if that would keep Hinata there forever, even though he knew it wouldn't, "That's so far away." He stared at his face, searching for something, anything, but Hinata could not, would not look at him.

"My mom says it's around 10 hours away."

Kageyama's heart snapped.

He took a deep breath, trying to keep his composure, he couldn't cry. Not here. Kageyama's hands trembled on Hinata's shoulders, almost squeezing so hard that it hurt his own hands. This can't be possible. He can't leave me. Us... His legs felt weak, his chest felt like it could cave in at any moment, but his face stayed the same, "When are you leaving, Hinata?"

Hinata finally looked up into Kageyama's eyes as he reached up to take hold of Kageyama's wrists. Hinata's once bright, star-like eyes, were now dull. Almost grey. Even his hair looked less energized and lifelike. This didn't even look like the Hinata he knew, and that's when you know you've seen true sadness. When you can't even recognize the person the emotion is coming from. It's not all about how they look, listen to they're voice, that'll change too. Their composure will change, they'll seem duller, distant. You could see them in black and white, and that's hard to see from someone who lives making everyone else happy, just because he's happy.

Feeling it is completely different, though. When the one person who changed your life, helped bring out the best in you, saw the best in you, cared for you, saw you for who you are, not who you were. When the one person that helped you grow, blossom, see the light - the sun, experience friendship and forget about abandonment because they never left you alone. When that one person is gone, you feel like you could give up right there, because they gave you the best, and now the best is leaving you.

"Tomorrow."

___

Kageyama couldn't face practice for that afternoon, he needed to take in everything that had just happened. He couldn't look at Hinata without his heart breaking over and over again, and he could feel it cracking so slowly and painfully with every step he took. It wouldn't stay out of his mind.

Hinata was leaving tomorrow, and Kageyama couldn't do anything about it.

He kept his hands in his pockets, clenched shut, as if holding onto the fact that Hinata was here, right now, he wasn't gone. That last word of 'yet', daring to creep into the last bit of that sentence. Kageyama picked up the pace, walking with a quicker stride now, he needed to get home. The chilliness of the air colliding with the feeling in his throat made everything seem blurry and grey. As if the color had escaped from his life.

And it was going to. The light of his life was going to disappear for who knows how long.

___

After practice, Hinata was the first changed and on his way home, which never happened, but everyone understood.

He'd broken it to everyone else first.

Kageyama was the last on his list, he didn't want to tell Kageyama, in the fear of him being upset. He meant a lot to Hinata, and telling him made it ten times more real and scary.

Hinata never wanted to leave. If anything, he would have given up everything just to stay with the team for as long as possible.

It looks like that time was running out.

He had received everyone's phone number before, so he always had that. He even thought about sending everyone letters every now and then, just to make the experience less terrible, and more creative. Something to look forward too, he guessed.

It only made it seem worse, and when he got home to see almost everything packed up, ready to leave, he wanted it to be a dream.

But when do dreams come true anyway? They hadn't.

The sun was burning out, being washed away by the rain, and the sun didn't care.

___

The moon did.

Kageyama saw Hinata for the last time the next day, after a horrible night's sleep, his eyes still dry feeling from the tears. He was tired, he wanted to sleep. He needed to hold someone close to him, someone who would let him cry on their shoulder and would tell him that it would be okay, that it wasn't the end of the world.

It was. To him, it was.

He shivered, standing closer to Hinata than usual. He brought his hands up to Hinata's cheeks slowly, staring at him. He felt tears scratching and clawing at the back of his eyes. No, he couldn't let it happen. His shake got worse, staring at the once bright sun, the moon needed the sun to stay bright. What was the moon without a sun? A black hole.

He leaned closer to Hinata, pressing their foreheads together as he closed his eyes tightly. He felt like he was dying inside, holding Hinata like this. It got even worse when Hinata placed his hands on Kageyama's chest, not pushing him back, but gripping onto his shirt and gently tugging him closer.

Hinata stared up at Kageyama, and when he realized how much he meant to him, he wanted to never let go. He wanted to stay here forever, he wanted to stay with Kageyama forever, weather that was playing volleyball or something else, he absolutely needed it.

Their lips touched, pressing together softly. It was sweet, something they had never experienced before. Something they were likely to never experience again, either, and that tore at their heart strings. At both of their heart strings.

"I love you..." A voice whispered.

"I'll always love you..." One responded.

They departed without saying another word, another phrase. They shared one last look, a look of guilt and want. Kageyama's face red as a tear fell, and Hinata's soon after.

"Goodbye..." They whispered to themselves.

___

The sun had its fire washed away, and the moon's light was lost in the night. Only a black hole was left.