Just can't Help It | BxB|

: Wanderlust '

                  | • | • | The Spin Off | • | • | 

Throughout my youth years until now, I've always been complimented about my physical appearance. Compliments from strangers, family and those who grew fond of me.

In a way, i wasn't the stereotypical cute guy in high school. Who surrounded himself with the 'popular crew' just to make himself feel like the 'it factor'.

In fact! I didn't Care to fit in nor did i care about the attention that came with being popular. Nor did i follow the cliché path of dating multiple girls in spite of my true identity.

If we're being brutally honest about the topic of girls. . Let me be straight forward, there wasn't a woman on earth that turned me on sexually, although i find many woman beautiful.

However, I've dated a few in my past. Guess i can admit that i started off young. Mainly to Figuring out my sexuality.

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Strangely! My High School experience definitely played out like the movies I've seen on TV. Very odd and cliché about most parts, but those odd cliché moments were my life.

Being the High School Quarterback put my entire life in the limelight of alief high. Popularity was a given, the roller coaster of emotions from several girls.

The typical 'He say, She say' drama. Was all a given. As if it was a required arrangement with being on the football team. Many would have loved the experience, but me?

It was a heavy dose of torture, but as always. I took the shit to the head and played my cards like a true master. Like the deuce of spades, i always came as a surprise.

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With all the expectations that came with my statue in high school, nobody ever considered the possibility that i could be, in fact i was. . Or should i say AM gay.

My demeanor wouldn't have given it away, the depth of my voice vibrated my surroundings, there for that wasn't it either.

Being fit was an expectation playing football, and the satisfying results of barbell Lunges, barbell squats and a tone of running sculpted the curvy athletic figure i have now.

Attention was a thing i never asked for, but it was an automatic result. In many eyes, i was the 'It factor', being crowned King at our past two homecoming made me the guy to be around.

Believe me i wasn't too fond of the idea.

But truthfully? I wanted to be free of that. I wanted to be able to experience myself freely with nothing to concern me. However, i wasn't able to express my interest in guys the way i wanted too.

I can admit, i became gifted at keep my life on the "DL". . . I still laugh at the thought of Me. . .  Jordan x.johnson . . . Gay?.

Many would chuckle and playfully hit me with the 'boy you're crazy, stop playing'.Expression to push off the truth. The urge of wanting to be myself grew more and more everyday.

Which brought me here | Writing to you | Yeah, I'm talking to you who's reading this.
You've made it this far, might as well sit back and enjoy the emotional experience that got me to where i am now.