You're not wrong.

'What a day...'I thought. I was so ready to just keel over and fall asleep, seriously. So I go ready as quickly as I could. By the time I was in my dormroom Elias was already in bed, breathing calmly.  I tried to be as quiet as I could so I wouldn't accidentally wake him up.

I had almost fallen asleep when I suddenly heard a noise. Groggily I turned to see what it was. My mind wasn't fully awake at that point but I did my best to focus. The sound was barely audible and yet it had some kind of rythm. After a few moments I finally made it out. It was comind from Elias' bed. It sounded like slight sobs. I sat up straight.

"Elias? You okay?" I asked silently and as carefully as I could.

He jumped a little, clearly startled by my voice. The sobs stopped immediately. It looked like he pretended to fall asleep now. But that was a lie obviously, so I dropped my feet off my bed. 

"Hey dude, what's wrong?" 

I made my way across the room, stepping on the clothes I left on the floor earlier. I could feel getting more and more tense with every step I made over to him. When I reached the other side I didn't hear anything, not even his breathing. Was he holding his breath? I reached out my hand to touch his shoulder. But as soon as I felt his skin he twitched. He clearly didn't expect my hand to suddenly be there. He slowly turned around. Even though it was dark we clearly had eye contact. He remained silent. 

In a normal volume I asked again. 
"What's the matter, Elias? Why're you crying?"

"I... I'm not. It's fine. Don't worry about it." he replied with a vulnerable shake in his voice, which made it sound like he was about to start again. 

"Come on, dude. You're clearly not fine. I'm here for you."

I sat down on the edge of the bed. 
"No, really. It's..." he sniffed. "it's not something I feel I can ever talk about. It's very personal."

I could see his hands wander to his face, probably wiping away some tears. 

"Don't worry, I won't tell anyone. You know you can trust me." I tried to ensure my support.

It was difficult unfortunately cause he didn't say anything. I just heard more silent sniffing and sobbing. It got harder for me as well. Just hearing my best friend in such a state, I almost  started crying as well. I took him by his shoulders and puller him up for a hug. His body grew tense again. After a few seconds he reciprocated though. He hugged me back really tightly, almost clawing into mefrom below, continuing to sob. He didn't even try to hide it anymore and cried louder I just sat there, holding him. For a few minutes we didn't move, aside from when he abruptly tried to get some breaths of fresh air. I felt my shoulder getting wet from his tears but at that point I didn't care. I just wanted to be there for him. At some point he loosened his grip and his sounds grew quieter. We released one anouther and I wiped away his tears. His cheeks felt completely drenched. 

"I..." he wanted to start speaking. It just seemed to be harder than he expected. "I never talked about this to anyone." he said. "I don't live with my parents anymore... cause..." he stopped again, choking on his own voice again. "It's because I... I did something. I... when I was younger I used to..." he stopped again. 

The topic must've been really difficult for him.
"I, um, well... There was this friend I had. And we got along really well. He was essentially my best friend. We did everything together. I liked him, like, very much. And when we were out with both our families for an event... It ended with a firework. I was really happy and he clearly was as well. And then... without thinking... I just did it."

Silence fell upon the room again.

"What did you do...?" I tried to ask as carefully as I could. 
"I kissed him." he replied silently, having almost no breath in his voice. "The biggest mistake of my life. The shock, the disgustm the betrayal. I'm never gonna forget his expression. Not only his. My parents' as well. I... I made an irreversible mistake. I showed everyone I cared about what a monster I truly am. And right after taht I was sent off to camp. Never saw any of them again..."

I felt another tear drop on the back of my hand. I didn't know what to say. I was at a complete loss for words."
"I know. What I did was wrong. I am wrong. These urges. These feelings. I do what I can to suppress them but I-"

"Hey, no. Stop that. Please. You're not wrong. You never were." I cut him off. "Whatever you have experienced was amazingly bad. But they were the ones in the wrong."

"No, I know I'm still the same as back then. I... I didn't change at all. I'm still fighting these demons and... and... this is onlymaking it more difficult." he almost yelled at me.

I didn't completely understand what he meant with the last statement he made.

"Finally after years I finally found someone I really can consider my best friend and here I am, struggling to not ruin everything again."

At this point he was just blurting his thoughts out. And he immediately regretted what he had said.
"Wait, I... I didn't... I didn't mean..." he tried to recover what he had jsut said.

His panic rose more and more. I grabbed his upper arms and oulled him in again. Just this time it was not just for a hug. Our lips met. And while shaking completely he didn't fight anything. Another tear rolled down his cheek. We parted our lips. None of us said a work.

"I..." he stuttered. "What... What does that mean? Why did you..."

"To show you that you're not wrong for being you. And to show you that, well, that you don't need to be afraid of losing me." I tried to explain.
Once again he fell into my arms.

"It's okay. I'm still here for you." I said as I held him.
"You didn't have to do that, y'know." he replied quietly, muffled into my chest. "I..."

"No, I had to do that. Because, well, I like you too."

"What?" he asked in a soft tone, his whole body jumping out of the hug. 

The moon shone right at his face. I saw his eyes, big and teary and his expression more vulnerable than I had ever seen him. 

"Do you... I mean, are you... Are you serious? But..."

"Yeah, guess so. And that's perfectly dine. I'm still not wrong for that. And the same goes for you. So please, stop blaming yourself for other people's biggotry."
While he procoessed the moment I laid diwn under his blanket and cuddled up to him. He reciprocated and laid his shakey head on my chest. After a few moments he spoke up again. 

"I can hear your heartbeat. It's calming." 

I smiled at him. Slowly we started talking again until he fell asleep. I hugged him as I myself dozed off as well.