– So... Rita? – Dr. Macy asks and I twitch – This is our last session Noah. You need to talk about her.
– But I don't want to.
– I know... – I stay quiet – Who was she? What happened to her?
– If I don't speak, you'll make talk, right?
– Yes.
– Okay. She... – I make a long pause and look to the ground – She was a neighbor. We were the same age so we basically grew together.
– Your voice is unsteady. Do you want some water?
– No. – She's right. My voice is a mere whisper – She... She was my... Best friend...
– What happened?
I stay quiet for at least five seconds.
– She died. – I say and close my eyes – My... My father said it was my fault because... She...
– We can stop if you want to. – I don't answer – Noah?
– I can't do this. – I stand up and storm out of the room, to the bathroom, and lock myself in it.
I lie on the floor and stay there for almost an hour until I hear someone sitting on the other side of the door and sit pressing my back against it.
– Are you okay? – The person, a.k.a. Lisa, says.
– No...
Silence.
– I... I can't do it, Lisa... – I say – I...
– I understand, Noah. You don't have to say anything... Just... Open the door. Let me in.
– I'm sorry...
– Noah...
– I... – I close my eyes.
– Let me in.
I unlock the door and get away from it. She gets in and locks it behind her then squats in front of me and puts her hair behind her ears.
– Look at me. – She says and I do so – It's okay... This is normal, okay? – I slowly nod and she puts her hands on my cheeks – I'm here now, okay?
– I'm sorry...
– It's okay. – She starts to rub my cheeks.
– I'm so sorry... – I start to shake my head.
– Noah? – I close my eyes again – Noah.
– I'm sorry...
– Aunt Alice?
She takes her hands away from my cheeks and I stop feeling her there. When I open my eyes, I'm not at the bathroom anymore. Instead, I'm in a room similar to Dr. Macy's, sitting in a sort of divan, resting my head on the wall and my hair is wet.
– Welcome back. – Lisa says with a weak smile on her face while sitting on my front left.
– I panicked, didn't I? – I say with my voice groggier than ever.
– Pretty much. – I growl and rub my face – But you're fine now... Right?
– Yeah... – I close my eyes and she comes to sit beside me.
She takes my hand and starts to rub it and then pull my head to her shoulder.
– It's wet. – I say.
– I know... I got it wet...
– Let's do it like this... – Dr. Macy says/whispers while getting in – Oh, you're awake... That's good... – I sit straight and she sits on the chair where Lisa was sitting on.
– I'll get you some water... – Lisa says to me and walks out.
– You choose. – Dr. Macy says.
– I choose? What...?
– The day to talk about it. Whenever you're ready. You decide when you want to talk about it. – I keep myself quiet – Is it okay for you?
I nod.
– Good. – She says – Now, go take some fresh air, breathe a little... – She stands and starts to walk out – Keep yourself safe, okay?
– Okay... But, what am I high on? – She smiles.
– Sedatives.
She heads out and Lisa comes back.
– Should we go? – She asks.
– Yeah... – I stand – Where to now?
– You tell me. – Her phone buzzes and her face changes drastically.
– What?
– Nothing...
– Lisa, don't. Not today, not now. Just tell me.
– I'm... – She takes a long, long pause – I'm going to be transferred.
– Hm... – I close my eyes.
She comes to me and I hug her.
– It will be fine... – I say in the groggiest way I ever imagined I would.
– I really hope so...
She takes to Maira's and lies me down on the couch.
– Maybe you should get some sleep... – She says – You're still... High...
– I'm fine. – I say after shaking my head.
She sits by my feet and frowns.
– What is it? – I ask.
– Well, I don't know where I'll be going and I don't know if I'll ever see you again... – She sighs – I don't know why things have to be this way...
I sit up and stay quiet and she looks at me.
– Noah, I love you. I always did and... I waited too much time for you to be fine to go away just like that...
I stay quiet.
– Please, say something.
– Lisa... I have been... Falling for you since the first day I saw you when you were in that red beanie and red shoes.
– It was a day before I ditched my glasses...
– Yeah... I miss those glasses...
– Me too...
– Anyways... You won't be going away "just like that" because you are special. For me and for everyone else you care about in this stupid town.
She smiles.
– Thank you. – She says.
– We will figure it out, okay? – She nods – It's weird me being the one who says these things.
She smiles once again.
– I will miss you... A lot...
– Don't say it like it's our last goodbye.
– It might be...
– You really think you're going that far?
– Yes.
– Lisa...
– It's the truth... – She smiles – At least I'll go while knowing that I was your first.
– My... – I get straight – ...first...?
– Yeah...
– What do you mean?
– You know what I mean. – I scratch my neck – You don't know what I mean.
– I know what you mean. I just... I don't know if it is the right thing to do. We...
– I understand... – I rub my face – I should let you rest.
She stands up and walks to her backpack.
– Where are you going?
– I'm sorry for suggesting something so stupid.
– It's okay. Just... Stay. – I close my eyes – Please.
She doesn't say a thing for a while until I feelher head on my chest.
YOU ARE READING
Me, My Shrink And Lisa
Ficção AdolescenteThe explanations behind some feelings might be... Complicated. The feelings behind some actions even more. Suicide, for example, has depression, pain, grief, emptiness and many other feelings behind it. This story explains how some of those feelings...
