The Chronicles of the Chaotic Family

The Pregnancy

Two lines.

A stick with two lines on it.

But it was so much more than that. Her life was over. Lucy knew it. And more importantly, she knew that everyone around her knew it, too. So now her dilemma was how the hell she was going to tell Foster. How she was going to tell him that the formerly "beautiful" woman he thought he married was- was...

"You're what?" Foster asked, incredulous.

"I know! We were so careful, but, well, things can happen and-" Lucy started, but Foster cut her off.

"I can't believe this! You realise you won't be able to work anymore right? And you can't rule the world and command attention while simultaneously looking like a whale and having mood swings all the time!"

"I-I-I know..."

"And what about me? I'll be stuck taking care of a lazy ass who can't even take a birth control pill right!"

"Hey! This is your fault, too, y'know. And we're married, so it's not like it's taboo!"

Foster sighed. "Just get a fucking abortion already! Will you?"

"I-I won't!"

"What did you just say?"

"I said I won't, you son of a bitch!"

"I can't believe you're being so disrespectful! You know what? I wasn't going to tell you, but I'm going to now! I, Foster Grindstone, your husband of 3 weeks, have been cheating on you!"

"You- you what?" Lucy asked, heartbroken.

"I've been cheating on you!"

"For how long?"

At this point, Foster had the decency to look down in shame. He hasn't thought this through at all. "Er, well, um, three... months...?"

"You son of a-" Lucy started while lunging at him.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Duke is just really hot!"

"Wait," Lucy said, faltering, "what did you say?"

"I said Duke was really hot..."

"That's my grandfather, you asshole!"

"That doesn't mean he can't be hot!" Lucy couldn't believe what she was hearing. She clearly had terrible taste in men because here her husband was, commenting on how attractive her grandpa was. It was just, well, heinous!

"Okay. Well, I'm definitely keeping the baby now, and I'm also kicking you out of our room."

"You're what?"

"You heard me! Find another place to continue your affair!"

"But-"

"Go!"

"Fine. I'll just hang with Duke. You, slut, and your uterus can rot in hell for all I care. I hope you go to tartarus."

Lucy sighed, ready to start sobbing and trying to hold it in for her dignity's sake. "Just go. Please." Foster got up and left the house, not taking anything with him except for a portrait of Duke that was inside his pocket.