Prologue: What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

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What could possibly go wrong?

Five little words, essentially YOLO for the naive, asking what the worst thing that could happen could possibly be?

Believe me from experience, I asked that same question once, and got royally fucked.

"I'm gonna be a pirate! What could possibly go wrong!?"

Well, from the minute I set sail, I had my captain kidnapped, had a near-handicapping wound in my shoulder whipped with a cat-o-nine-tails and nearly botched a mutiny. Then I was named captain.

"I'll go rescue the original captain! What could possibly go wrong!?"

Well, after being named captain, I had been kidnapped by a pirate I was told was out for my head, was caught in the middle of a second mutiny, fell into the ocean, discovered the necklace my first captain (who was also my Godfather.) gave me could turn me into a mermaid...and not just any mermaid...a fucking siren! I was stranded on a deserted island, had a crush found out. And then, finally a break. We were both rescued by a friendly captain.

"Now I can be on a new ship! What could possibly go wrong?"

Well, now we were on a new ship, I had to take the kidnapping bastard with me, I found out he had a family that he missed terribly and my poor heart bled. So now, we went to England!

What could possibly go wrong?

Almost being raped? Almost being murdered, being followed by a thug and a man practically raised by rats?

But none of that shit compares to this. Imagine, if you will, being stranded in Bristol near the end of November, with an attractive guy, his mother, his best friend, the best friend's sister and a hundred and fifty kids, plus one, who is the hot guy's sister.

Now imagine your ship left without you. Now, I ask you again...

What could possibly go wrong?

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