Metal Storm

Last Ride Of The Day

   Nearly a week and a half had passed since Astrid had visited and as I lay in bed, Van Halen playing quietly on the stereo, images of the conversation that we'd had in the train station before she'd left flashed in my head...
    "Marlene, please whatever you do, be careful of Sebastian. I think that there's something very very wrong with him..." she had almost pleaded.
   "I know but we only have maybe two more months to spend holed up with him here," I'd said, trying to sound optimistic despite my growing fears of the bassist.
   "We'll be fine," I'd added.
   She sighed.
   Eric had then walked over to join us.
   "You too, Eric," Astrid had told him, "the way he treats you unnerves me."
   Eric scoffed.
   "He's an asshole, alright, but he's all talk. He would have bashed my face into a wall ages ago had he been legit about all this evil shit that he goes on about."
   "You don't know that. He's probably a lot more calculating than you think," Astrid had told him sternly.
     Eric pressed his lips together nervously, not sure what to say.
    I wanted to desperately believe Eric's words over what Astrid was saying but now I honestly wasn't so sure; was it some sick joke that he was playing on us...or was he serious about everything that he said...?
    "I'll just ask Svenn to keep an eye on him just in case he tries to do something," he finally said.
   "Now boarding, train 6, headed for Ystad"
   "Agh, looks like it's time for me to go now," Astrid whispered, picking up her backpack, "I miss you guys a lot..."
   "Holy shit, even me? The guy who eats babies and goats for lunch?" Eric said, putting his hand over his heart dramatically.
   "Yeah. Even you," she said with a small smile as she turned to leave, "please take care, you two."
   "We will. Goodbye Astrid," I said, watching her join the lineup that led to her train.
    She turned and gave us a final wave before she disappeared into the train that would take her back to the small town that we all had once called home.

My thoughts continued to race as I second guessed myself, anxiety spiking-

     -Hearing the door downstairs open and close, I leapt up from my spiral and peered out the window.
     Sebastian and another guy, the same guy who usually came to get him, walked down the path together, laughing and talking with each other.
     I honestly had no idea who this guy even was. I didn't even know his name or relationship to Sebasian ; he never talked about his bi weekly trips into town with any of us.
      We'd all just assumed that he was partying at the time, being a year older than all of us except for Svenn, he had the bar and the pub pass.
     Watching the car drive away into a cloud of dust, I lay back on the bed, working on finishing the lyrics for that song that Eric had loved so much when I had played it to him in the bedroom of his house that early spring day that now seemed so long ago.
      I decided to show what I had got down to the guitarist in the evening.
      For now though, I was hungry and craving an unhealthy snack or two. After all, my heart still had two working chambers.
      I quickly headed downstairs, heading straight for the kitchen cabinet that we'd made sure to fill to the brim with chips and other various snacks.
     The TV was on in the living room and I could just see the top of Eric's head over the couch.
      Grabbing a bag of popcorn and trying not to knock over the Pringles, I went over and plunked on the couch beside him.
      On the screen of that old used Panasonic, Luke Skywalker refused to join Emperor Palpatine...
       "Man, doesn't he remind you of someone," Eric said, gesturing his hand at the hooded Emperor who was doing some speech about how the power of the Dark Side was much too powerful to resist for Luke.
         "Oh god, yeah," I giggled, remembering Sebastian's ramblings, "All he needs is a cloak and a few burns on that mug of his at this point. And maybe a tesla coil."
         "Pffft he doesn't even need that," Eric snorted, cracking a piece of corn between his teeth, "hey...also, I wanted to ask you something."
          "What is it?"
          Eric looked down at his lap for a second as if slowly forming whatever he wanted to say in his head.
          "I got two free tickets to the fair from my manager at work and I was just wondering...do you wanna go with me this evening?"
          Our eyes met and I felt my stomach flutter as I gazed into those shimmering dark blue irises. I'd never been to the fair in my life, but at that moment I don't think that there was another person who I would have wanted to have shared that first experience with than Eric.
      "Fuck yeah," I told him. "I'd love to go."
———
     We decided to go later in the afternoon so that we could have lunch somewhere at the fairgrounds but be back before the sun set.
    I usually wore quite a bit of makeup whenever I went out somewhere but today I decided against it, keeping it all very simple, fluffing up my hair with a few sprays of hair spray and pulling on my favorite black Harley Davidson tank top and ripped mom jeans.
     Eric was already waiting for me downstairs in the door by the time I headed down. His dark brows shot up in surprise when he saw me as this was probably the first time he had ever seen me without a pound of makeup on my face.
    "Hey, you  look really nice today," he told me.
    "Aw thanks. You don't look so bad yourself," I replied.
    And I wasn't lying; with his freshly redyed ebony hair falling around his slim shoulders and the denim vest he wore seeming to bring out the sapphire blue of his eyes, he looked handsome. The fact that I had said that to him and that I was actually thinking this had my stomach fluttering like crazy but I ignored it, reminding myself once again that he was merely a close friend. But was it normal to have this strange feeling that you'd never felt with anyone else well up in your heart whenever you looked at your close friend...? It was becoming harder and harder to convince myself that it was.
    He smiled softly, this time not even trying to hide the blush that had spread across his cheeks and handed me my ticket with a quiet "thank you" that seemed so out of character for him.
    We walked together to the car, discussing some ideas that we had both come up with for album art and promo shoots and deciding on doing a shoot in an old cemetery that Svenn had told Eric about later in the month.
      On the way, we stopped to grab sandwiches from the gas station, eating them in the car while Eric read out some corny yet funny jokes from a joke book that his dad had bought him for his last birthday. Well, perhaps they weren't even that funny but the way he read them out had me in tears.
      After asking some people around town for directions, we drove up to the fairgrounds, me marveling at the immense height of the slowly rotating Ferris wheel that I'd only ever seen in movies and shows before.
       Eric parked the car and we both got out, clutching our tickets.
       "This is your first time going to a fair, right?" Eric asked as he showed our tickets to the eccentric lady in the booth who opened the gate for us, promising us the most fun evening of our lives.
        "Yeah," I said, "the closest thing that I've been to a fair was that bouncy castle festival back in Ystad."
         "Ah, that shit was pretty damn fun but it's not much compared to this. C'mon, I can show you my favorite rides," he said.
          Hesitating for a second as if he was unsure, he took a breath and offered me his hand.
           I felt a distinct nervousness strike me like a bolt of lightning from a nail gun. There were no more butterflies in my stomach. They had been eaten by an entire family of hummingbirds.
            I gulped and my eyes widened.
        There was a pit in my stomach deeper than Mary Poppins' bag and wider than Cronos' forehead.
          Trying not to fucking explode into a bunch of ferris wheel shaped bits of ground Marlene, I took his hand and allowed him to lead me.
          Actors in clown costumes offered us cotton candy, girls screamed as they rode a towering roller coaster, young couples sitting on blankets shared candy bags on the grass...everything was just so bright and vibrant. Full of joy. A stark contrast to the drabness of the places we had been playing at and to the gloominess that seemed to perpetually hang over our house.
          We started off with a Haunted House train ride that had us both nearly fall right off the our train when Freddy Krueger lunged at us from behind the cobwebbed curtain inciting a series of laughs from the family sitting at the back before heading to the drop tower, neither of us quite sure which of us had screamed louder when it, you know. Dropped. Deciding to take a break from the adrenaline rushes, we went to the arcade stations, me beating Dragon's Lair to Eric's chagrin, and then Eric decimating me at Pole Position. Which made sense, cause I was a quicker thinker, and Eric actually had a driver's license.
    After a few rounds of Pac-Man, we challenged each other to a game of darts, Eric being so good at hitting that bullseye that he ended up winning a giant stuffed teddy bear that we took turns carrying.
      Evening came all too soon and we decided to spend the last of our money on the Ferris wheel. After all, who comes to a fair and skips riding the legendary Ferris wheel?
      So, that's exactly what we did.
      The sun was beginning to set now, casting her beautiful evening light over the fairgrounds and we could see almost the entire city from our seats up in the sky.
      For those few moments, we forgot about the issues within our band, we forgot about Sebastian, we forgot about our constant food shortages. For that moment, it was just the two of us watching the sunset as the Ferris Wheel slowly rotated over the fairground like a giant clock ticking away the flow of time.
       I glanced over at Eric who seemed almost mesmerized by the slowly setting sun, his bare arms folded on the rail as we watched the sunset side by side.
      "Eric?" I finally said, breaking the silence between us.
     He looked over at me, shaking a few strands of hair out of his face.
      "Yeah?"
      "I...I just wanna say thank you so much for taking me here," I said, "I think this was one of the best evenings of my life."
      He smiled.
      "Ah, you're welcome. I thought you'd enjoy it and yeah...I gotta say that it was probably one of mine too" he replied.
       We were both silent again, neither of us wanting to spoil the moment that we just shared. After a while, Eric opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something else but closed it, shaking his head.
      "What were you gonna say?" I asked him.
      "It was nothing, really. I- fuck, never mind it," he muttered.
      I frowned but left it at that.
      "I wanted to say that this is one of the most fucking beautiful sunsets I've ever seen," he said.
      Whether that was what he actually wanted to say or not, he wasn't lying at all.
      The sun had now set over the distant sea, Mother Nature doing her daily task of painting the sky with lovely shades of pink and orange, the colours blending in with each other as if done by an artist's hand.
    "Yes. You're right," I breathed.
    Our eyes met and we edged a little closer to each other. Eric's hand found my back, electricity shooting up my spine and an unfamiliar yet pleasant heat rose in the pits of my stomach. Our hands interlocked. Eric closed his eyes and leaned in. Our lips were only an inch or two from each other when the ride suddenly stopped, the announcer telling us that our time was up.
        We both quickly broke apart, me not so sure what the heck even just happened between us and Eric mumbling something incoherent to himself. No, this was definitely not normal but the worst thing was that I wasn't grossed out by that boy holding my hand or caressing my back or by the fact that I was fairly certain we'd almost actually kissed. I liked it!
       Marlene! Girl, stop this right now. Eric's an awesome guy and everything you'd ever want in a bandmate and partner in six stringed mayhem but come on, just cause he's a boy with similar interests as you doesn't mean that you like him in *that* way!! an inner voice which had become increasingly familiar over the past few months shrieked at me angrily but it seemed much quieter than the last time it had yelled at me for having those unfamiliar feelings that I still couldn't give the name to about the guitarist.
       On the way back, we sang along to our favourite Kiss songs in the car, not letting the creepy darkness that cloaked the outer parts in the city and the driveway get to us.
      Neither of us brought up the moment that we had shared on that Ferris wheel. A part of me honestly wanted to bring it up, to ask Eric questions that I so badly wanted to know the answers to but I didn't, clinging onto the memory and replaying it in my head like a song that I loved. But my dreams that night were stark and grim, filled with images of death and of destruction as if one of the songs that we had written had taken its form into a dream....