Richard Ayoade's Disenchantmentplace

Chapter 27

Elfo: I would say it good to be back but I can't shake the feeling that life is meaningless and I'm gonna die alone.

Bean: I'm cold, and I hate everything, and this gravel really hurts but it's exactly how I feel inside, so it makes sense.

Elfo: Those were my pet squirrel's last words before he died. He was a talking squirrel. He got run over by a wheelbarrow. Those were his only words.

Y/n: You know what hurts more? Being rejected. Twice. What a bitch. I tried my best to be a gentleman but yet she was so stubborn and difficult. Ugh.

Luci then tossed an elf out of the bar.

Luci: Get lost, you deadbeat! See in church! Oh, hey, deadbeats. Whoa. You three look like you need a drink. I say that to all my customers but this time this I mean it.

Bean: No, thanks. That's just gonna make me sadder. And then happier. And then sadder.

Y/n: Yeah, I feel like I could drink because I'm so depressed how I failed to win over this one girl's affection twice.

Elfo: We all had our hearts broken. Y/n fell in love with a girl who didn't even like him and Bean fell in love with a mermaid but it was all in her head.

Bean: And he fell for a gal that was just a head. Obviously, we're not fixated on traditional body norms.

Luci: Wow. You two are really hurt, huh? Noice! I don't wanna miss this.

Luci: (Grinning) Well, you three are in luck. I've got just the thing to cure your broken hearts.

Luci poured them each a shot of a mysterious, dark liquid.

Bean: (Suspicious) What's this?

Luci: (Smirking) A little something I like to call "Heartbreak Healer." It's guaranteed to make you feel better... or at least make you forget your problems for a while.

Elfo: (Hesitant) I don't know...

Y/n: (Resigned) Ah, what the hell. Let's do it.

They each downed the shot, wincing as the bitter liquid burned their throats.

Bean: (Coughing) That's awful.

Elfo: (Grimacing) It tastes like burnt sadness.

Luci: (Laughing) That's the spirit! Now, let's have another round, shall we?

As the night wore on, the group continued to drink, their inhibitions slowly fading away. Laughter filled the air as they shared stories of their failed romances and commiserated over their shared misery.

Y/n: (Slurring) You know what, guys? I think we're all just a bunch of losers. But at least we're losers together.

Bean: (Raising her glass) Here's to being losers together.

Elfo: (Smiling) To being losers together.

As they clinked their glasses together, the group found solace in their shared pain, their bond growing stronger with each passing moment. And as the night wore on, they continued to drink, their laughter echoing through the bar – a testament to the power of friendship in the face of heartache and despair.

They then went towards the kingdom.

Turbish: Halt! Why goes there?

Mertz: It's not why, you idiot, it's who. And you know who it is, it's Bean.

Turbish: Bean's an idiot?

Mertz: No, you are! That's who.

Turbish: I'm who goes there?