The state I'm in COMPLETED

Odd

"So now what?" I asked, my voice laced with exhaustion. "Do we go back to being strangers until we meet by chance? Or do you follow me around only to end up in my bed again? Because that won't happen again, Harry."

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No, no. We can't do that."

"Which one?" I bit back, my irritation surfacing.

"I can't not be part of your life. We just won't be a couple."

Like it was that simple. Like we could just shove our feelings into a locked box and throw the key into the ocean.

"My sister and my family miss you, too. They love you, Valerie. So much."

I turned my head to face him, our shoulders brushing. "So what do you suggest?"

"We can be friends." He exhaled like he had solved an impossible equation. "We'll still see each other. Like you do with Leo or your other friends. So we won't miss each other so much. So we won't go crazy."

"And what if one of us moves on?" The words felt foreign, heavy in my mouth.

He hesitated. "Then... then they move on."

"And there's no chance of us ever being together again?" My voice wavered despite my best efforts to keep it steady.

His lips parted, but no words came out at first. Finally, he whispered, "No. You need to move on, Valerie. But I'm selfish enough to want to be part of your life. I won't cause trouble anymore, and I will always be here for you. Whatever you need. I can be your friend, your confidant, your rock. I just can't stay away."

His eyes held mine, filled with longing and finality, before he leaned in, kissing me softly, like a goodbye he wasn't ready to say. He pressed his lips to mine one more time, barely touching, then pulled away.

"If this is what you want," I murmured, knowing full well I had no say in the matter.

He stood up, running a hand through his hair. "I'll go now—to Pete's. I need to see Antony later. Are you working tonight?"

I nodded.

He moved toward the closet, pulling out the duffel bag he kept here, and started shoving his things inside. That's when it hit me.

I had never returned any of his things. A part of me had refused to believe it was over, that he wouldn't come back. And yet, here he was, packing up the last physical traces of himself from my life.

I couldn't watch.

I jumped out of bed, grabbed the nearest sweatpants and a t-shirt, and bolted into the bathroom, locking the door behind me.

The moment I was alone, the sobs came, raw and violent, racking my body as I sank onto the floor. I covered my face with my hands, trying to hold it in, trying to swallow down the unbearable ache in my chest.

A soft knock.

I scrambled to wipe my face, grabbing a tissue to clean my nose as quietly as possible.

"Valerie... baby... are you okay?" His voice was gentle, like he was afraid of breaking me further.

I cleared my throat. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"I'm sorry." His voice broke. "I'm so sorry."

"Please go, Harry."