If it Means a lot to you - Niall Horan fan fic (ON HOLD)

Chapter 21

Niall’s POV

“Keely! Wait!” I shouted as I chased her down continuous hallways.

She didn’t slow down until I caught up to her in the lobby, and grabbed the tug of her sweater (x).

She stopped in front of me, not facing me, crying hysterically.

This had to be part of Cece’s plan, it had to be. For Keely to walk in on us.

“Kiki I can explain, I really can!” I shouted through tears of my own, as the secretary watched in worry.

Thank god there was no one else in the lobby at the time.

She then turned back to me, mascara running down her rosy cheeks and her eyes super pale blue.

It killed me seeing her look at me like this.

“Fine, explain.” She replied bluntly.

“…I…” I stuttered.

I actually had no idea how.

She then sighed and proceeded to walk out the door.

“Wait no! She… she came onto me! I didn’t know what to do!” I yelled frustrated at the scenario.

“Exactly! You didn’t do anything! You just went along with it and let it all happen.” She was quick to remark.

I looked at her hurt eyes and felt immediate pain within me.

She was right. I could have pushed her off of me right away… but I didn’t.

I let my jealousy justify it.

I didn’t have anything to say but stupid excuses that would ruin me. I just let myself cry in front of her.

She suddenly stopped crying.

“You know… This was dumb.” She muttered.

“What was dumb?” I asked, trying to man up a bit.

“This. All of this. I never should have come with you to London. I never should have even went to the house party. Because let’s be honest, I don’t fit into this new life of yours. And let’s be even more truthful, I showed up on that doorstep, to reconnect with you… But you would have never showed up on mine. Things don’t work that way for me. So why don’t you go back to your rich and famous life where everyone loves you and there isn’t a problem in the world, and forget I ever came back. Keep the memories from when we were kids, because I’ll keep them too. I’ll keep them forever. You were my everything for such a long time. And now I have to face the music that you just can’t be that anymore, Niall. Because I was never yours. Or things would have been different over those two years. And don’t try to tell me other wise, because my mind is made up.” She became stoic enough to say.

I’ve never hated myself more than I did right then.

“I cried over you… more nights than I can count. Telling myself over, and over again, that what we had was something people don’t just throw away… And even when I thought, recently, that I was right. I was still wrong.” She continued on.

I am scum.

We do have something special… but I see why she can’t see it right now.

Everything… all of this… all my fault.

“Keely…” I tried to say, walking closer to her for an embrace.

“Do you know how in love I am with you?” She asked me.

In…in love with me?

Oh my goodness…

“Do you know how hard all of this has been on me because I have always been in love with you? It’s been hell…