My Secret Valentine

Chapter 10 - Is It Too Late Now To Say Sorry?

Trinity was very bubbly and flirtatious, and her charms were putting me in a trance. While she managed to still look and be her beautiful self, I was a nervous wreck on the inside and out. I was even more confused now than I was before. What was I supposed to say or let alone do? "I–I'm sorry, Faye."

"It's okay," I replied. Honestly, after we finished kissing, I wasn't sure if those actions were okay or not. I knew at that moment it was thrilling and we were both high from the bliss of our kiss but was this wrong? "Actually–"

"I shouldn't have kissed you! This is so awkward, right now." Trinity clamored. It was visible how embarrassed she'd become. As her friend, shouldn't I reassure her or let things play out?

"It is, but–" I was interrupted once more by her.

"I'm not sorry, Faye. I'm not! I– actually wanted to kiss you... I been wanting to do that for a good minute, too," she expressed.

I was surprised. I was left speechless. She? Wanted...to kiss me? Trinity? My best friend? I felt like I had fallen into a whirlpool and couldn't get out. My mind ran in circles like a merry-go-round, and what she last said played on a loop. She wanted to kiss me.

"You wanted to kiss me? Why? Trinity, I am really confused about a lot right now." I said with a little bit of frustration. The tone of my voice was enough to pierce through her, and it upsets her.

"What is there to be confused about? Where is the confusion, Faye," she snapped.

"You and I!" I waved my hands in the air. "Us beefing, everyone being weird, Alicia being all flirty with you, Bria and her weird ass advice, you coming in here kissing me, and this whole secret admirer thing–"

"Faye, stop being so fucking stupid," she screamed at me. "These people aren't your friends, and stop telling me about fucking Alicia and this stupid admirer thing. The whole thing is stupid, and you're stupid!"

"Fuck you!" I screeched. "I hate you!"

Trinity's silence grew. She became teary-eyed and her voice began to fill with emotion. She tried to shake her head to clear her tears, but that didn't work. I instantly began regretting what I said and tried apologizing to her – she wasn't hearing it. "I hate you too," her voice cracked.

"As much as I hate you right now...I still love you way more. This hurts," she said as she grabbed the doorknob twisting it open. "I wish I never wrote you those letters."

I was lost for words. It couldn't be. Trinity was my secret valentine? She exited the bathroom and I stood in there alone.

***

Time itself felt like it no longer existed, and I was left feeling conflicted. Trinity, my best friend, dropped an enormous bomb on me and then retreated. It was a lot to process, it was hard to process, and I had no idea where to start. But, I guess it didn't matter right this second since we argued – that was where my attention was needed. Her words pierced me deeply and I immediately regretted what I said to her.

Those last words we shared ran on a loop in my head, and more shame filled my body. A mixture of embarrassment and stupidity absorbed any remaining alcohol in my system and left me completely sober. It. Was. Trinity. All along, how did I miss that? How was I supposed to know it would be her? But why did I assume it would be Alicia? A part of me wanted to chase after Trinity, but the other half of me had the urge to retreat. So, I chose the simplest route for me, and that was to retreat.