BILLIE-HALES & ZEALOUS

Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

A little while later, we're all leaving the clinic and I'm kinda lost. I'm lost while looking at my baby my first baby-scan picture. Wow, is all I can say. My mum got a little teary as well, as Jenna too when I'd shown them. Zeal's got one to take home. I'm not selfish enough to keep them to myself I do have a heart. Well, at least I think I still have one. I mean, it's kinda in pieces right now, but even as I look upon our baby, I feel it. It's swelling again with love. I love this baby already, and it's not even born yet.

"Can I call you? You know, just to talk. I-I kinda have a lot to say, but you keep on shutting me out. I mean, I get it you're pissed at me, but we need to talk about all this. We'll need to discuss the baby and where we go when she's born.
I want. I mean, at least I'd like access. Shit. I'm kinda hoping that we'll be back together by then and we'll be in our own place, but I-I just need to talk to you. I miss you, Billie. I've missed no one so much in my life. Losing you was the biggest mistake of my existence. Please, just say we can talk again. Please, I expect nothing. I-I just want to talk to you, to be friends again. Again hopefully one day, you can forgive me completely and we can be a family, but I'll take anything right now. Please, please give me a chance. Just a chance to prove to you, I'm serious about this, about us and the baby."

I'm stunned. This is so not a Zealous thing. No, because he's not talking his usual shit after saying something touching.

"One step at a time, okay? Let's just take our time. I'm not promising anything, but I'll listen. That's all I can give you for now."
He suddenly takes a deep shuddering breath and I can see him as he physically relaxes his whole body.
"Thank you. I swear I'll make this right, Billie. I promise I'll do this right."

Eventually, my mother and I leave them. Surprisingly, I feel a little better. You know, a little lighter. I don't know why, but I just feel like our reunion, kinda made my nerves go. Feeling all those panicked emotions take over me, floating away when I finally got over that weird feeling. I don't know what's going to come next, but for now, I'm still focusing on my career and my baby. Zeal, though; I'm not sure where he'll fit in, but for now, I'll take my time with him. Just until I can get to know him again. I'm not saying I'm taking him back. No, right now my mind is set, but the future can take a few twists and runs. I just hope that wherever comes next. For me, I just hope that it's a good thing.
Lord knows I could do with some good in my life.

***

It's been about a month since that day. Well, Zeal, and I are kinda on good speaking terms, but I'm still not there yet. No, I know I'm not because I'm still giving Charlie a hard time.

"What the hell is your problem? I mean, what the hell, did I, actually do to you?" she demands. All the while I'm sitting across the room from her. I'm kinda giving her the evils after I'd watched her flutter her eyelids at Mr Graham. So I may have coughed out calling her a slut. Yeah, maybe it's a little harsh, but she'd slept with my ex while knowing full well, that he was with me.

"I'm sorry, what was that? I couldn't hear you over your ten-ton of makeup covering your face."
Her brows nip together and I can see I'm getting to her, but still, I don't care.

"Ladies, not in here, please. This is an adult environment I don't want any playground crap in here."
I don't even look at Mr Graham when he says this I just carry on glaring at her.

"Don't worry Mr Graham. You won't have any trouble from me. Yet, you may have a problem with the freak over there, especially if she carries on with being a total bitch."

I snap my body to attention wanting to kill her, but then Mr Graham calls out to me.
He's reminding me of my delicate condition, which by the way, nobody knows about. So you can imagine the gasps and the eyes snapping to meet mine. That's including the bitch-face. Her eyes go wide and then she automatically looks at my now-growing stomach. She's looking for signs of my pregnancy and once she finally sees the little bump her eyes got even wider. So of course, I eventually, snap my eyes to Mr Graham and I can see that he's sorry for saying it. I guess someone had to remind me, but still, I'd have preferred it if it wasn't in front of the whole class. Yeah, they'll eventually find out when I become the size of a house. But I would've preferred it if I could, have left it for a little longer, only because now people are whispering.