BILLIE-HALES & ZEALOUS

Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

ZEAL:
"You. The first love of my life claimed me and then you wrecked me. Now I'll never trust again. I'll never trust you or anyone else, ever again."

Her words keep on ringing in my head, all the time is happening she's clinging on. I'm breaking in two with her while she's telling me, she's sorry. Of course, I tell her she has nothing to be sorry for. Obviously, because it's on me. I'm the one who killed her trust. I'm the one who planted that seed of mistrust in her head, and now we're both killing our hearts. I killed hers because I fucked up and now she's killing mine. She's telling me she doesn't think she'll ever get over what I did.

"Zealie, you need to remember I wasn't all that sure about us from the start. I think I kinda knew we weren't, going to be forever. I knew one of us would kinda mess up at some point, but this is too much for me. I can forgive you, but I'll never forget that you'd broken my heart. All I'd ever wanted was your honesty and your heart that's it. Sadly, I don't think I've ever had it. I think we should just, try to be great parents. Whatever happens in, the future? Well, that's anyone's guess."

I stayed with her all night too, just talking. I told her everything, and how I met Tania one night in town. I was out with my buddies and apparently, she recognised me straight away. She said I'm the image of my dad, she went to college with my mum. Eventually, she offered to take me home and being a horny teen, I agreed. I thought she looked pretty hot for a woman in her late twenties so I flirted with her. I put all my best moves out there while making her, laugh too. I'd finally gone one better and began touching her leg while she drove me home. Only we didn't get home no I'd asked her to pull into a secluded area where I'd lost my virginity. I was twelve years old, but I'd kinda hit puppetry pretty early. So I looked about seventeen I looked old enough to get in most of the bars in town. Tan protested, but I told her I'd never say a thing. All the while I thought I was cool shit for sleeping with this woman. Since that night, I made it my mission to fuck around with so many women. I liked sex. I liked it so much that I couldn't stop. Well, I met up with Tan quite a few times. That is until my parents found out. Somebody saw me with her in town. Only I wasn't in a club, we were in the alleyway. I was fucking her while she was bent over, begging me to go harder. That woman knew her stuff. Don't get me wrong, she was just like me; always fucking around, so we knew the score. But I have to admit, I kinda fell for her. Hey, I was a horny teen and when it's your first big crush, you'd do anything to be around them. Only she eventually backed off, telling me we can't keep it going now. Only it was too late, we got caught and she did a few months in prison. I mean, obviously I blame myself. I should've known better. I should not have touched her. I shouldn't have even allowed her to take me home. And now I'm wishing I hadn't even met her full stop.

"Billie,"
We both sigh at the same time and then she gives me a soft grunt in response. She's a little tired now I can tell because I can hear the tiredness in her voice.
"I kinda have another confession before you crush my balls it's nothing bad. Well, it's a bit shitty of me, but."

"Spit it out, Zeal. Nothing can be worse than what's already happened, and that's in the past now."
I'm nodding my shameful head, agreeing with her.
"Okay, well you know how you sang that night, with Chris?"
She turns her, lifting it from resting on my chest.
"Yeah, what about it?"
While looking into my eyes, I can't help getting a little lost in hers. She's so Bellissima.
"Zealie, what about it?" She asked after clearing her throat. Shit, I'm growing again.
"Well, Roddy he'd sent me a text, later that same night. He kinda wanted to know, if you'd like to join them."
Her eyes go wide, shock written all over her face. Seeing this look made me grin because she's still Bellissima. Fuck. I'm hard now. Okay, calm down. Getting hard right now isn't a good idea.