Am I Dreaming?

Being high off cannabis is amazing. It's like my own mind is separated into 3 different minds (or even more, depending on how high I am), and the events that are happening are like a movie. Those minds each have a version, something different that happens with each of them. So, it's like each of those minds see life with a different perspective, and with each of their own ideas and decisions, they are fighting to earn the place, the event that's actually going to happen (in my head).

Think about it like a TV with different channels. One second, a show is playing, and the second right after, another one is playing. Like changing channels every second or so, but still watching them on the same TV. But that's not a really precise example isn't it. So for example, I could be in the middle of the streets, walking at night, but then I don't see it like this, because those multiple "minds" have multiple perspectives and ideas, so there are a lot of possibilities of what do I think I am, where do I think I am, basically what is happening, my mind has multiple possibilities of what event it's going to "experience".

Now, let's explain it better. The actual life that is happening, the real events that anybody with a normal vision of life and a sober mind sees, is not what my mind lives, what I personnally see. For example, I could be walking outside in the streets at night in winter, but that's not what's happening in my head.

My eyes see it like this; the dark and cold street on which I am walking is in fact, in my perspective, a beautiful town, with piers, seaside streets, sparkling golden sand and beautiful trees casting subtle shadows on the bristly grass, all giving this place a countryside overall look.

The place still looks gorgeous with all that afternoon glow and diamond-like sunrays, reflecting themselves on the bouncing waves.

I hear faint music, joyful one, and I start looking everywhere around me to admire and study every single detail, such as the smell of fish getting out of the water onto fishermen's boats, hearing some church's bells ringing, echoing a melody through the scenery.

I hear seagulls, peacefully flying in the dusk amber and azur gloaming sky.

I'm running excitedly around, trying to get a look at anything I can.

And during this time, in the boring sober reality, I'm just a fucked-up one running around the fucking streets looking at things that don't even exist, looking like I have schyzophrenia or something. Well no, I don't have schyzophrenia or anything. I just wish some things would be more appreciable, such as life. It's just that life is becoming so boring, uninteresting, it doesn't even seem like I should live anymore. After all, what's the point if I'm in an awful reality like this one? That's the thing about drugs (or at least cannabis), it's that you wish that what you were delusional about was actually true. So you just want to do it again, you want to get another chance to trick your own mind into thinking that what you imagine is real, tricking your reality and thus having a "better" life for a limited period of time. But afterwards, it's horrible seeing that all of this isn't even real.