The Santa Clauses: Santa's Little Helper (Bernard x Female Reader)

Into The Wobbly Woods

3rd Person P.O.V
Scott was interviewing the candidates, while Betty stood beside his desk to observe. (Name) was busy, interview her own candidates of elves for the position of the next Little Helper.

Scott was currently interfering NFL star, Peyton Manning. "Wait, that's why I'm here? To be the new Santa? Yes! Can't wait to rub this in Brady's face." Peyton said, grinning.

"Well, you don't have the job just yet. You got a 65% completion rate. It's probably good enough for the NFL Hall of Fame, but up here, we kind of look for a 100%." Scott said. "Well, I'm pretty sure I can pull it off with no pass rush." Peyton said.

"Well, there's no pass rush, but there are some security problems. We got NORAD. Their radar's getting much better at tracking us, right? We've got chimney raccoons. Oh, boy. Sketchy pastries on plates. You never know how long it's been there. You got a mayonnaise problem sometimes. So got to watch out for that. You got your Christmas deniers. And you got your Santa traps." Scott explained.

"Santa traps? What's... What's that?" Peyton asked. "Well, let's say you're going down a chimney, you pop in, you see a tree, the garland's just slipped off. You decide to be a nice Santa and pick it up, put it back on the tree. You grab the garland..." Scott explained and makes a whoosh sound. "...grabs your hand. You pull it, you're in a trap. Just like that." He said.

"You see, with me, I wouldn't pull the garland." Peyton said, confidently. "Yeah. And who would, right? That's good. Okay, okay. How about this? Give us your best 'hо hо hо.'" Scott said. "Oh, okay. Here we go. hо hо Homaha! Homaha! You see that? I called a little audible there." Peyton said and Scott stared at him, unsure of how to respond.

Betty leans over to Scott. "He's odd, yet somehow perfect." She whispered to him. "He's odd, all right. I don't know if we have a hat big enough for that head. Phew. Look at the size of that thing. Hmm." Scott said.

"What's gotten into you? We need to find someone quickly." Betty said. "What's the rush?" Scott asked. "Well, breaking in new Santas take time. Breaking in a Santa? We're talking about Santas, not horses." Scott said.

"I know. Horses listen." Betty said and Peyton laugh. "Ha! That's a good one." He said, chuckling. "You still here?" Scott asked him. "Me? I was kidnapped. One minute I'm cleaning rain gutters, when a girl appeared on the roof and next minute, I'm here. By the way, I'm gonna need a note from you for my wife." Peyton said.

The doors of the office were push open as Noel enters. "Hey, Big Man! On a scale of epic to super epic, how 'giganticous' do you want your farewell party?" He asked.

"That won't be necessary, little man. It's always nice to meet a big fan. Here's an autograph." Peyton said, getting up and taking out a permanent marker, seemingly out of nowhere.

Peyton walks up to Noel and writes his name on the back of Noel's shirt. Noel gasps in horror. "Michelangelo gave me this shirt!" He exclaimed. "It's worth more now, trust me." Peyton said, smugly.

"Peyton, he was talking to me about my farewell party. Listen, low-key. I mean it. No muss, no fuss." Scott said to Noel. "No muss, no fuss. Who's the dead elf that's gonna tell Mariah Carey she's no longer performing?" Noel asked, pulling the doors shut

"I sing, by the way." Peyton said and Scott chuckles. "No, Brady can sing. Anyhow, thanks so much." He said.

Bernard sent Peyton back while Betty went and collected Simon, the next candidate. "Simon Choksi. Listen. Hold on. I don't want you to be nervous here." Scott said as Simon fiddles with something from the desk.

"Oh, why would I be nervous?" Simon asked. "Because you're interviewing to become Santa Claus." Scott and Simon jump, dropping the item, he was holding, which crashes onto the floor. "Sorry, sorry." He said, frantically.