The Shakespeare Files

Jamie Scarzar

The look in her eyes were dull as she stared at me. You may be wondering who I am and who this random woman is so let me answer for you. I am Reginald Shakespeare, or Dr. Shakespeare and I'm the first transgender psychologist in Baltimores State Hospital for the Criminally insane. This woman I am treating is Jamie Scarzar. She murdered her parents after going through years of undiagnosed schizotypal personality disorder. Jamie was very quiet and seemed to lack emotion. She never had many friends due to her constant paranoia but because of how dead her eyes were, everyone was too scared to bully her. Jamie's parents tested her for autism at the age of 7 but the test results came out negative, so they went on with their life. One day, when Jamie was 17, she got so paranoid that she thought her parents were trying to harm her so she strangled them with a shoelace while they were asleep. Now we are back to now, she immediately turned herself in when she realized what she did. She didn't cry though. Jamie won't speak yet but that's understandable with what she's done. It's been a week since she killed her parents and the court ruled her criminally insane so she obviously wasn't fit to stand trial so now she's here with me.
It's been one month since Jamie has been with us and her mental state has gotten worse. She has attacked a nurse because she thought the nurse was going to try to hurt her. The nurse was just checking on Jamie. She still won't speak much and we have yet to find any medication that will work for her. Other than that one attack, Jamie has been staying in bed, seems she is depressed. The nurses have tried to force her to come outside but Jamie won't budge. I went into her room on my own and she did perk up a little. Jamie finally agreed to come outside with me and we walked a little around the garden. Unfortunately, when I asked her about her parents, she broke down. I tried to console her but she ended up punching me instead, I have a nice black eye. I do not blame Ms. Scarzar though, I know she did not do it on purpose, that's the troubling part with mental disorders, especially ones that make you paranoid.
  It's been one month and one week since Ms. Scarzar has been with us and a lot of progress has been made. It seems she has no family or no family she is contact with as she gets no calls or visitors, and we had our first full conversation today. She told me she feels no remorse for what she did to her parents and that she doesn't know and wish she did, the only emotion she seems to express is anger which is when she feels under attack. Ms. Scarzar went on telling me that her parents used to try and do almost anything so she would smile. They would take her to toy stores and buy her whatever she wanted, they took her amusement parks and paid kids at her school to come with them in hopes that Jamie would make some friends and show some sort of emotion. Instead, Jamie stayed silent and reserved, she didn't want any toys, she didn't want to go on any rides, and she did not want anything to do with the children. This of course made her parents sad, but Jamie did not feel any remorse. She couldn't feel any. All she feels is emptiness.
  It's been one year. It turns out Ms. Scarzar committed suicide. I guess she did feel one more thing before she left, guilt. In her suicide note it said that she was guilty for not feeling anything so she thought it was better if she was gone for good. She ended up finding a loose screw in her cell and she slit her wrists. Ms. Scarzar was a complex patient, I wish I could've learned more about her before she left. I guess she'll just be another one of my careers mysteries. You will be missed, Jamie Scarzar.