Instinct {The Half Moon Chronicles}

Chapter 10.

Chapter 10.

My heavy eyelids fluttered painfully, and I yawned. Whilst I reached up to wipe away the fragments of dried tears from my cheeks, I tried to stretch. I frowned when I found that something was restricting me from moving too much. When I actually fully took in my surroundings, I realized I was not in my own room and sighed. I tried to lift Noah's heavy arm from around my waist but it was to no avail. He clutched me closer to his chest and muttered words I couldn't make out in his sleep. Gently, I tried to wiggle myself out of his grasp. The more I moved, the weaker his grip became; until I could slowly slide out of his hold and unceremoniously fall onto the floor.

I let out a quiet grunt and pushed myself into a standing position. Once I was gone from the bed, Noah rolled over and sprawled his body out covering the whole surface. I smiled at his sleeping form and quietly retreated from the room.

Shaking my head, I tried to clear my mind of morbid thoughts but it was no use. Soon, Noah would never be able to come into my room at night, carry from my bed and hold me until my nightmares wore away. Soon, I would never be able to fondly look at him whilst he slept. Soon it would all be a memory.

Trying to shake off the depressing thoughts, I shuffled down the corridor, my limbs still stiff from slumber. I entered my own room and sighed when I saw it was six a.m. It would be better to prepare myself now than later. I stripped myself out of my nightwear and wandered into the bathroom. After locking the door, I turned on the shower and retrieved my wash items.

Once I was ready, I stepped inside the shower, quietly wincing when the scalding water attacked my skin. At first it was painful, but then it became more soothing as my skin started to become red and the pain from the water was replaced with emotional pain. I didn't realise I was crying until I felt a teardrop fall onto my lips. Furiously, I scrubbed at my face and grit my teeth as I tried not to scream out in anger.

Why did Xavier have to ruin everything? Why now, of all times, when I was most vulnerable, did he have to turn up and rip me from my life? I grabbed a sponge, poured some soap onto it and scrubbed my skin red raw, until the pain of the stretchy material was almost nonexistent on my numb skin.

After my small outburst, the energy I had once had disappeared and I slowly slid myself down the wall and onto the floor of the shower. The water rained on me, drowning me, but I didn't care. I almost felt like I was drowning. Yet, there was just enough oxygen to breathe. I knew this was the feeling of what my life was to be like. Trapped, with Xavier, suffocating and only just getting enough air to breathe.

A loud sob escaped from my lips and the tears kept flowing. I sat there for a long time, hands clasped together, almost praying for a miracle.

***  

As I zipped up my hoodie, I grabbed another pair of jeans from my drawers and shoved them into my rucksack. I had already packed my underwear, pyjamas and shirts. Now I was just packing my few jeans and shoes and then I would be almost ready to leave. Once my remaining clothing was packed, I reached under my bed and pulled out another backpack. This one I had never emptied, and was the one I used to bring my personal belongings with me when I escaped. I never dreamed that when I put them in this bag, I would soon be taking them back to where they came from.

I threw the backpack over one shoulder and held the rucksack tightly in my other hand. It was now eight a.m and both Noah and Jane were still asleep. I needed to leave before either of them awoke.

When I entered the kitchen, I briefly placed down my bags and took out the notepad from one of the kitchen drawers to leave a note for Mama Jane. I thanked her for her care and hospitality, and apologised for leaving without a real goodbye. It pained me to leave her behind, but I knew Noah would look after her. I hoped she would understand.