the actuality of life

about you - the 1975

this song is actually absurdly good. the part where it transitions into the woman's voice. i don't have enough words to talk about how good this song is. it makes me levitate. 

i am currently studying at chode with erin. life is good. i am getting my life together and I love it. i love every second of it. we were twisted in bed sheets this morning and now we are studying and doing work. 

I like when things are in order and i can see exactly what I need to do. 

my medication is helping. could tell i was getting anxious and took my medication and feel better already. its like neon yellow now, it's weird. ive said this like a million million times but i'm actually going to get back into my wattpad now. i promise it. i like having some of my last entries though to look at. it makes me remember my feelings and my past emotions. 

i don't feel like as much of a non functioning robot. I like being in tune with my emotions and how i'm feeling. with less of a public publication of it, I am actually able to channel how i feel. this is an interesting revelation. it's kind of realizing that in the end, i am always only going to have myself. so how i treat myself is the most important relationship. 

anyways, i need to get back to doing my work. i really like this chapter of my life. its an interesting era, that's for sure. i love it. it's new. it gives me so much balance. i have a good relationship with my friends, decent with my family, a pretty good relationship with myself, and i love my girlfriend. this part of growing up is pretty cool. god is good and balance is even better. 

i feel calm and i feel stable. 

nov 27th