I find it odd that I keep coming back here. Why is this place seems familiar? It feels like I've been here before but when I really think about it, I never even knew this place existed. Every time I came, here memories of someone I never knew came flooding through my thoughts. Whose memories are these? And who are these people he's with? For a long time I was flooded with these thoughts until finally I want to know more. Why am I having these memories? Why is it that these memories seems to stick with me? Why are these memories feel like my own?
I tried asking someone but they just laughed at me. It's either they think I'm crazy or maybe I think I really do. Until one day, I came across a book about reincarnations and past lives. At first I was trying to deny everything. Who believes in this stuff these days? There might really be something wrong with me.
If I were to tell the memories I've had, it always ended up with that person leaving a very important person behind. Strangely, my heart always hurts whenever I get to see it. Why? Why would he leave her? Why would I leave her? Why would I do that? I did that? I did left her. Maybe it's really true. But right now, the important thing I need an answer to is why did my past life did that if she's that important for him?
Again, I woke up from that dream, crying.
That was the time I decided I wanted to find her in this life. But how is it possible for me to find her among the billions of people? There could be a possible way right? Maybe not an easy one but something that would be easier than my situation right now.
Finally, I found an idea. This might not be the best one but this really would help me. I will be an idol. Since I love dancing anyways, why not kill two birds with a stone? After 2 years, finally, I debuted in a group. I am not expecting that this would help me as soon as possible but I want to do my best.
Around that time, I had forgotten the reason why I'm here. What was it again? Ah! Because I love dancing. I love the people around me. I love my group that doesn't seem like a group but a family. It changed me in the most beautiful way possible. I used to be scared of people but right now, I want to show myself to the fans who keep on giving us love. They made me into a person I am now. If it weren't for their love and support, I wouldn't be able to know what I am capable of.
We did so many things for so many years. We've gained quite an overwhelming popularity among fans in Korea and even around the world. We've travelled in so many countries and cities.
One day, someone asked me why I'm still doing my best when we've already come this far. I didn't answer him. Maybe because I don't have an answer or maybe because I do but I don't want to know anymore.
That night, for so many years, I've dreamed of that place again. What was this place again? Whose memories are these? Ah! These are the memories I want to forget. Why am I having these memories again? That dream I had that night was the most terrifying I've had in my whole life. The answer I've been wanting to know were answered. All those lives I've had before are there to remind me that I have to leave her again. Why? Because whenever we always end up making each other the most important person in our lives, one is destined to destroy the other. I was crying again when I woke up.
Strangely that day, I met her. I don't know her but my heart told me it's her. I don't know if she knew but when I talked to her, it seems like she has no idea at all. She gave me a letter but then as always I've got tons of these things from the fans. It'll get mixed with the other ones and I would end up not reading most of them.
"Are you having the same dream as I do?", was what I was about to ask her but then that dream I had flashed into my memory. I was scared that it would happen again.
"I really love your taste in music, would you recommend me a song to listen to?"
That was what she asked me. For a moment, before she started speaking, I was scared she might say something about it. Then I realized, she really might have no idea at all.
"1000x by Jarryd James"
"But you already recommended it before."
"But right now, I want you to listen to it once more."
🎼
Even if I'm leaving you at the door
Even when I know that you're never lonely
Harder than imagined
Harder when it's cold
Even when I'm playing in the fire
Even when I'm doing it for all my life
Harder than imagined
Harder when I let it go
Tell me that love is enough
The seas will be parted for us
Tell me that love is, oh
In another lifetime
I would never change my mind
I would do it again
Oh, a thousand times
Just to let you in here
Where you make me lose my mind
In another life I'd do it all again a thousand times
Never would I ever let my love escape you
Never keep you from the promises I gave you
Further than imagined
Further than we've ever known
Tell me that love is enough
The seas will be parted for us
Tell me that love is, oh
In another lifetime
I would never change my mind
I would do it again
Oh, a thousand times
Just to let you in here
Where you make me lose my mind
In another life I'd do it all again a thousand times
In another life I'd do it all again a thousand times
In another lifetime
I would never change my mind
I would do it again
Oh, a thousand times
Just to let you in here
Where you make me lose my mind
In another life I'd do it all again a thousand times
🎼
Maybe that was it. My situation won't permit me to be with her. And to think that we never really knew each other in this life... maybe this is enough. This kind of love. It might not be strong but it's something that I think would make this life longer. I would just love her as how an idol loves his fans.
I'll be fine as long as we are looking at the same sky, we were breathing the same air. I'll be fine as long as we were both alive in this life.
"Everyone left, but only her scent remains.
No name or address to be known.
As if I was dreaming within my own dreams, it all faded away."
"Mom, I've dreamed about someone last night. She was really beautiful and she was smiling at me."
"Hwaseong, aren't you too young to be dreaming about girls?"
