XS

Do you know when you receive a call, but you know who the unpleasant one is and you don't want to answer?

These people are definitely not the type you can block. Everyone who has financial power is predictable, so, they would soon be on my doorstep. After the new heroes died taking a selfie during a battle in South Korea, it was obvious that they would come after us.

I'm just the typical mother who cleans up child's vomit and fights with her husband about the garbage he once again forgot to take out. Well, they appeared in the next day, classic. We expect originality, but no. A man looking like a 1940s Irish and a blonde so thin that I think she only eaten lettuce.

They quickly explained the situation. The mission was in another forgotten country in the East. They said goodbye leaving a box in the room, with a Welcome Back note on top.

When I opened that box, I preferred that shitty to be a bomb. Without the slightest sense of aesthetics, inside it lay my deceased costume of yore, full of cleavage and tight. Obviously that uniform didn't fit me anymore, I have 3 kids, there's no pilates or yoga to fix that. I found a note: "You have one month to be our best collaborator again. This special costume is in your hands to make you feel even more encouraged to go back to your time of glory and honor".

I want to die just thinking about my butt in close-up in some british tabloid. The question is: does the uniform do not fit me, or do I not fit it anymore? Why does heroines have to show her ass and boobs, while men even have capes and all cool stuff?

The end of the month arrived. We went to a small country. When I left for the mission, flying through the hotel window, a lot of paparazzi cocked their cameras and fired merciless flashes in all directions.

I was wearing a company T-shirt, sweatpants and socks. Well, what do you expect? A woman who will save the world or a western porn heroine?