2/28/13
Dear Davy,
Oh, sweet, adorable, Davy. I don't know where to begin. I know that you already know what I'm about to say. Or maybe I just think you do. But this is going to make it "real". I just know it. Davy... You have done nothing short of change my life forever. I might as well start from the beginning. I found out about you because of a People magazine. That People magazine that would have come a year ago today. Yes, the one with your picture on it. You wanna know what I did? I took one look and thought "Oh great, who's this ugly person who died now?" Yes. I. Called. You. Ugly. But it was only because of your eyebrows. I had not learned to love them yet. And then i flipped to the pages right before your section and read about some tornado. Then closed it. Never to see it again. They are one of your best features, truly. But that day... I will deeply regret that for the rest of my life. I kick myself about it every day. I actually just recently bought that magazine back, for hope of some closure. It didn't help much, but now at least I read your story that went along with it. I hope you can understand. Coincidentally, my mom bought season two of the Monkees, after that magazine and I was thinking "Oh great, another show I'm gonna have to lie that I like." But, needless to say, I fell in love. It took me a few weeks to fall for you. Rather, to accept I'd fallen for you. I guess I knew it was you, right after I'd seen you in the "What Am I Doing Hanging Round" part of episode 1. Your maracas... And you were so little... I tried to convince myself I liked Micky. But then I realized it was you. And that was when my love began. I watched Daydream Believer and Cuddly Toy every day on YouTube, and over time discovered some new songs. I put them on my phone. I was secretly admiring you. When I told my friends the end of that school year, they made fun of me. Which made me love you more. And it kept steadily growing until August. When I got my iPod. And an Instagram. And found out there were Monkees fans on Instagram. I immediately made an account. And ever since then, I have been completely addicted to you. It spread from The Monkees to your pre-Monkees life, solo career, Brady Bunch episode, Hello Davy Japan Tour 1981 (❤) and I grew to love you at all times in your life. Well that's my story, if you don't already know how much you mean to me, here it is: I fell in love with you the (second) time I saw you. Once I got to know your personality... I was a goner :) you are everything to me. I don't know what to say to express how i feel, so ill quote you. You are my first love, my last love, and my forever <3 I think about you constantly. You ruined my social life. But I'm not complaining :) I have never said this to a guy before, but I love you. I. Love. You. I really do. I know you were not perfect, but that makes me love you even more. You are the one for me. I always wanted to be married when I "grew up" but I have changed that. I am staying single. I tell people I'm "getting married in heaven". I'd like to think so, but I know it probably won't happen. Quite honestly, I want you to be the father of my children. Like now. Which is strange because I am 13 years old. And I know I'm too young to be thinking that. But that shows what kind of impact you have had on me. I love you. You have caused me more physical, emotional, and mental pain than I dreamed possible, but I wouldn't change any of it. Not to mention the physical, mental, sexual, and emotional frustration, knowing I can never even MEET you. And while this is fine and dandy, when I think down, deep inside of me, what I most truly want is to meet you. Which can never happen. I feel like a terrible person for being in more pain over your death than my own dogs' and family members' deaths. And I know I am horrible. But I just can't help it. And so I close today just saying thank you. I could go further into it, but... I think you get it. So, thank you. For everything. You have truly changed my life.
Yours truly,
Heather
