Control

Chapter 19

Ella

I felt as though I was escaping the frying pan to be thrust into the fire. Escaping the intimates boutique was as much a relief as it was terrifying to think of what awaited me next. The look in his eyes as I stood before him wearing the least amount of clothing I ever have in public screamed predator. And while a small part of me hoped I was wrong, my mind was filled with foreboding scenes of him devouring me as a wolf would an animal carcass.

James quickly ushered us to his car without saying a word and drove us quickly back to his place; with white knuckles and tense silence accompanying us back. Once he parked, I felt horror seize me, freezing me to the seat. James seemed to miraculously acquire some patience as he made trips to and from the car with the items he purchased for me before finally opening the passenger door.

I glanced up at his face full of confident expectation and back at the intimidating palm of his outstretched hand. Who knew palms could be frightening? They were just so large and I knew they were fully capable of terrible things. I couldn't do this. Instead of fight, flight or even freeze, I fainted. Guess I should have taken a breath...

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I awoke with a pounding headache and groaned as I tried to get my bearings. As I squinted into the sunlight streaming into the bedroom, I uttered another groan- this one with notes relating to a more metaphysical type of pain. I suddenly wished to return to the black as I wondered what I'd encounter when James realized my conscious state.

Gathering courage through deep breaths, I slowly sat up to further survey the situation. I was alone. For now. I could hear what sounded like the tv and some clattering movement from the kitchen. The sun was more orange than yellow as it lit the room, telling me I'd been out for at least a couple of hours. Then I noticed the boxes. Boxes with my things. Boxes that seemed to contain all of my belongings. He certainly worked fast, didn't he?

I didn't know what to feel. A strange numbness settled in as the reality hit me hard. I'd actually been in denial. I never would have dreamed it would get this far. I think I had assumed James was more bark than bite and at the very least once he had me, I'd be free to go. I was so very wrong.

This happened in movies, novels, in nightmares. This could not be my life, could it? I had actually been kidnapped. My friend knew it and yet there were no police. No one had come to save me, and as a sense of dread settled in I was beginning to accept that no one would. I needed a new strategy. Perhaps instead of immediate escape, I needed to focus on a long game of survival until eventual freedom. He won't keep me forever, right?

These thoughts were hardly comforting, but they did grant me some solace. Perhaps I could renegotiate his terms and protect myself that way. But really, what did I have to bargain with except for my body? And he seemed to like the idea of me being unwilling. I shuddered at the thought.

So deep in my rabbit hole of pondering, I didn't notice James approach and wondered how long he had been leaning at the door jam with arms folded and an amused tilt to his lips. I let out a small gasp of surprise once I noticed him and immediately began shaking.

"God you're so beautiful I'm absolutely obsessed."

I simply sat shaking and silent as I waited for the other shoe to drop.

"Come on, I've made some food and you'll need sustenance for our nighttime activities" he said with a chuckle.

"No."

I wasn't sure who was more startled by my response, but I took in a shaky breath to continue, knowing my survival depended on it.

"I-I mean, can I please talk to you first?"

Annoyance gave way to curiosity as his expression urged me to continue. I was still wary but hopeful he would hear me out and perhaps be receptive.

"I want to make a deal. I'd like time before you- you know..."

I trailed off and chanced a glance at him to see if he understood what I was saying.

"Before I f*ck you? And if you want to talk to me, f*cking meet my eyes. I'm over here, not on your lap...yet" he ended with a wink.

Gathering my reserves of courage I met his gaze and continued on.

"Yes...that. It's just, you know that I'm...that I never... and it terrifies me. You terrify me. But if you really want me to be your beard or whatever, I can't be afraid of you. If you force me that's all I will ever be able to associate to you and no one will buy for one second that we are in a sincere relationship. But if you give me time to get to know you and feel...less uncomfortable around you, then you can...we can..." I trailed off once more with a flick of my wrist hoping again that he caught my drift.

He slowly prowled my way and, leaning over, aligned his gaze directly with mine. "Baby girl, you're not my beard- you're the real deal. What about this situation seems fake to you? You're living with me, you're not with anyone else, and we will be f*cking like a real couple, too."

He inched his face even closer so I could feel his breath as he spoke and reached up to tuck a piece of hair behind my left ear, causing a shiver to run through my body. Quietly he warned, "My lovely Ella, I don't think I ever want to let you go. I'd put a baby in your right now if I weren't selfish enough to want you to myself for a while."

My breath caught as his words registered and my stomach plummeted with the dead weight of his horrible promises. What was I supposed to do with that?? It felt as though each idea I chanced he thwarted by making the situation even worse. Perhaps I should have given up ideating altogether for each time it backfired and I didn't know how much of me there was left to burn.

"P-please don't do this. I'll be good, just don't force me to..." I couldn't even say it and my shaky whispered pleas trailed off to hopeless silence.

My body tensed as he nuzzled into my neck and ran his nose along my throat, breathing me in and letting out a hum of approval. "Well...they do say that anticipation is half of the fun. If you can honor your promise and be my good girl, I'll wait.  I like a challenge, and I will make you beg for it before you know it. I promise you won't feel forced if you promise to be my dutiful girlfriend."

I almost scoffed aloud at his outrageous claim. There wasn't even the smallest part of me that could envision even tolerating him close to me, let alone craving him in any way.

I leaned back so that I could look into his piercing gaze. "Deal."

I only hoped I hadn't sold my soul to the devil and had saved myself from him as I hoped.