Alina

Alexei & Alina

Alexei's POV:

I don't know what comes over me when I'm down there.

I just take all my anger out on her and make the excuse that it's for Alina's own good.

I hate her!

All she's done since she was born is cause trouble! She fucks with my mind! The amount of times I've wanted to kill that child is ridiculous. I don't know why I haven't done it yet.

Before her, I never hesitated to kill anyone. My ruthlessness and ability to do what needs to be done is what has gotten me this far.

Sometimes I consider talking to Dmitri about it. He's never strayed from our goal, our promise, while I, on the other hand, failed a long time ago. And I never fail

When we were younger, life was terrible. My father made my life hell so I'd be "worthy" of sitting on his throne one day. Dmitri wasn't treated any better. But we turned out exactly how he wanted, killing machines with sharp minds that are feared throughout the world.

When our father dumped Alina onto us, we couldn't exactly just give her away, as much as we wanted to. Things were interesting at first to say the least. But as she grew we knew we had to make the decision.

We were able to convince ourselves that it'd be for the best to raise her how we were. It wasn't so she'd turn out like us, but because that's the only way we ever knew.

How long does it take to put a few wraps on? It's been a while since I left them down there. I check the secret camera and see my siblings on the floor.
I can tell how much she's shaking from here. Her cheeks are wet and puffy from all the tears and looks like she's not even breathing. Dmitri looks like he doesn't know what the hell to do and it hits me right away, panic attack. I had a lot growing up and they are scarier than a lot of the things I was exposed to.
I don't know what came over me, but one second I was in my office, and the next I'm holding my baby sister in my arms.

What am I doing? Why am I doing it?

"NO NO NO! LET GO! I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL BE GOOD!" She cries, flailing in my arms attempting to escape. I rock her back and forth whispering sweet nothings in her ear until she passes out.

I gently place her limp body on top of the pillow in the corner. She's almost the size of the pillow itself.

Adorable.

Ew. Why the fuck did I just think that? Nasty.

"What the hell was that?" Dmitri says, interrupting my thoughts as we walk out.

"I don't know." I sigh, shaking my head at the stupidity of my actions.

"You can't just do that. Next time she'll expect it. This isn-"

"FUCK", I punch the wall, leaving a slight crack in the stone and blood on my knuckles. "You really think I don't know that! I don't know what came over me, ok!? I saw it from the cameras and I just snapped. This is why we have to get rid of her! She fucks with me. She fucks with you! Alina is nothing but a nuisance for us both!"

"You don't mean that."

"Yes, I god damn do! And you know I'm right. You keep on telling yourself the same thing and think that it helps everything. Well, it doesn't! Don't tell me you don't feel shit towards her." Silence is my only answer. "We'll finish this conversation in the morning."

Alina's POV:

I wake up once again in so much pain. I think I hit my head too hard because I remember Alexei, comforting me. 'Alexei' and 'comfort' don't even belong in the same sentence.

I don't really remember them all that well, only the feeling. By 'them' I meant those scary moments. I don't know what they're called, but I feel like the world is closing in on me and I can't get out.

I can't breathe.
I can't hear.
I can't see.

I spend many nights laying down on the floor (they don't even bother to give me a cot) dreaming about a good life. One with no pain, one with none of those, things. A life where my father wanted me and my brothers didn't hurt me.

I've thought about escaping so many times. But where would I go? I've never been outside the property. In fact, I've barely been outside my room at all. I also wouldn't be able to get out without anyone catching me so there's no use trying.

Then there are the times like today with Alexei. Though I'm pretty sure I imagined it, it made me feel all warm inside. Like my family didn't hate me. I always tell myself to be a good girl.

"Good girls get food."
"Good girls get a blanket."
"Good girls get hugs."
"Good girls get love."
"You deserve nothing. You are nothing. You are weak and a waste of air."

Am I that bad? I listen to their rules, and I don't ask for anything, yet I'm punished for everything and anything.

One time, my brothers came down smelling and talking funny and were unsteady on their feet. They told me that if I made any noise, my punishment would get worse and worse. I remember that day so vividly, I have nightmares about it all the time.

Alexei slaps me really hard.

I don't make a sound.

Then he does it again, and again.

Dmitri takes out some sort of stick and Alexei restricts any movement from me and I'm pushed into the floor.

I don't make a sound.

They've done worse than this. But what is the stick?

Zap! Zap! Zap!

A burning shock touches everywhere and the pain spreads.

Zap! Zap! Zap!

It feels like I'm being struck by lightning. I'm numb but I feel it all. I can't help it. I let out a cry, but they don't stop.

Zap! Zap! Zap!

I'm slipping in and out of consciousness, but Alexei stops me every time from submitting to the darkness with a hard slap.

Finally, they stop and leave me. I crawl to my corner and cry, and cry. Soon, I let the darkness take me.

The "zappy-stick" was too much for my three year old body to handle, they didn't come to see me for a few days after that.

Ever since that day I've been terrified of what I know to be lightning and my brothers know it. Whenever there's a storm, late at night they'll take me outside until I pass out from screaming and crying so much. They just laugh at me. At least I get to go outside though.

What if I run and don't stop? They don't care about me. No one does. Would they really come after me?

My stomach growls loudly again. They "forgot" to feed me again. I adjust myself on the hard concrete floor. I hug my pillow tight and look around. No windows, no bed, my blood staining the walls, this is my home. That is my family. This is my life.