Stray Kids Imagines | bang chan

Final Breath, Pt. I | ANGST

Word Count: 1.1k

He's always been strong. That's one of things you love so much about him.

Even when he needs rest, he pushes through until the end. He performed and produced for the past few months and didn't stop until he physically had to.

You were worried, of course, not being able to keep an eye on him while he traveled for work. The boys promised you they would, and while there's no one else you'd trust more than them, his condition was constantly on your mind.

He hates it, really. The way you and the boys can't help but treat him like a fragile puppy sometimes. You try to ignore it and pretend like everything is normal, but there's not much use.

And it was all fine; Chan was powering through the world tour, seeming completely fine. They hadn't told the fans anything; they wanted to keep it a private matter between the team and Chan's closest friends and family. Everyone had hoped it wouldn't turn into a problem.

But paradise only lasts so long.

Felix calls you ten minutes before their concert in Seoul, and you immediately know something is wrong. His voice is void of emotion, blank and blunt.

"Chan is at Asan Medical Center. Please come as soon as possible."

He doesn't elaborate, but you know. You hear him breathing, so you can tell he's still on the line. You try to find words as you tuck your phone between your ear and you shoulder, rushing to your closet to toss some random clothes into your bag, along with other basic necessities and personal effects.

It doesn't take long; you and Chan live alone together so there's no pets or anything to worry about at the moment, thankfully. You had considered adopting a cat, but you wanted to talk to Chan about it before looking into it further.

Ten minutes after Felix initially called, you've grabbed your wallet and called an Uber to bring you to the airport for the first flight to Seoul.

You've thought that this sort of thing could happen, but it never felt as real as it does now. You try to focus on something else- anything else, but your mind keeps leading back to the worst. What condition he could be in right now, where he is, what will happen next... it's all uncertain, and it scares you to think that you are at risk of losing the one person who has become the center and light of your life.

Chan is a secret part of your life; even your parents don't know about him, but you haven't kept in touch with them anyway because of how often they travel after retiring from their respective jobs. They write to you monthly, of course, and you do care about them, but not having much of a strong bond caused distance after you moved out. Your closest friends know nothing of him, since the secret must be well kept. JYP eventually had to be informed and you and Chan were pulled into the expected long and serious conversation about what your relationship meant. Contracts and agreements were signed out of necessity, and life moved on. You're a fairly private person, and so is Chan, so neither of you really mind the secrecy. Occasionally, you do wish you could be in public together, but you never want to risk ruining his reputation and Stray Kids' career.

Even with his busy schedule, the moments that you share with your boyfriend both in person and over the phone are everything. There's a sweet and playful dynamic between the two of you that truly creates the best moments. His adorable smile and infinite kindess... his dedication and drive for music... his lovely eyes... the way he possesses undying love and patience for you and those close to his heart... everything about Christopher is special to you. Whatever flaws you and him have individually and together, you two have pushed through them over the past two years of your relationship and constructed a strong and lovely foundation that has withstood some of the worst arguments and problems.

Felix is still on the line. He hasn't spoken since his first words on call. You faintly wonder whether the concert will continue, but right now, you're focused on not falling down the stairs as you rush down to the lobby of your flat.

While you wait for the Uber to reach your building, you attempt to recompose yourself and focus on constructing a sentence to say.

"I... are you okay, Lix? Is the performance still happening?" you ask shakily, realizing how selfish it was of you to not ask how the Australian boy is doing. He and Chan have such a strong bond, partially due to their birthplace and mostly because of the connection they developed over the past few years of being in Stray Kids. It must be hurting him so much for this to have happened.

"I... they announced that Chan would be absent due to personal reasons," he replies blandly. "We still have to go on, but we were given fifteen extra minutes to refocus ourselves."

You internally sigh; even in the face of stress and being one member short without much notice, the members are going to perform for their fans. It's incredible, of course, and you're so proud of their dedication, but sometimes you wish they could catch a break for once. Maybe it's selfish because of how many of their fans showed up to their concert, but still; Felix and the others are humans with real life problems before they are idols for the world to watch.

"I suppose... I suppose you should go, then," you say quietly. The night sky is so lovely, with the stars sparkling like gems on a navy blanket of beauty, and yet it feels as though the world is crashing down around you.

"I-I'm sorry," Felix says softly, his voice low.

"It's alright, I understand," you say calmly. "I'll be there as soon as possible. Good luck with your concert. I know you'll do amazing. Keep your head up, okay? Stay strong. For him. For yourself."

Felix inhales audibly, sighing loudly. "Yeah. Okay. Thank you."

"No, thank you so much, Lix. You guys work so hard and as proud as I am, remember to not be too hard on yourselves. You're only human. Tell the others the same thing, okay?"

"Okay. Bye."

"Bye," you whisper as the call ends and your ride approaches.

Now, you must apply your advice to yourself.