crown

fresh air

Her soft hands led me to the door. Before we could leave, I heard Yeonjun-hyung ask, "Where are you going?". I replied, "Walking, getting some fresh air." Then she led me back to the garden of the hospital. Where we sat on a bench in front of some white flowers.

When we sat down I noticed we were still holding hands. I didn't mind, her soft gentle grip on my hands comforted me. "Would you like to talk about it?" Re-nae nodded, and a tear escaped from her eye. But she brushed it off. "I feel guilty." she began. I looked into her eyes and a tear ran down my cheek. "You know you don't have to." She nodded, presumably knowing not to feel guilty. But I won't lie. I also feel guilty. "I knew of his parents. But he didn't know I knew." And more tears fell to her legs. She released my hand and used both hands to cover her eyes.

I cupped her face in my two hands and looked her straight in the eyes. "You were probably afraid to tell him, but also his reaction weren't you? I can't imagine how difficult it must have been for you to keep it a secret.' She laughed but cried too. She took my hands as her smile brightened. Her face screamed for help. What have you experienced? I asked myself. "I don't think I can sleep on my own. I can't live without Beomgyu." I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her. I felt her bury her head in my coat against my chest. Get it all out Re-nae, you need it. I'll be there when you need me most. I won't forget about you.

"I also feel guilty about not noticing his struggles." I confessed. She looked at me and grabbed my hand. "He can hide his secrets very well, but he cannot handle them alone. It was a lot for him, he felt alone. Buried." Re-nae explained. "It's not your fault you didn't know. Beomgyu loves you a lot. He doesn't want you to suffer from his problems.' Her eyes met mine as they twinkled. The sun reflected her tears. Her beautiful green eyes showed me guilt and the pain she has hidden from us.

"Thank you..." she said, hugging me again. Thank you for listening and confessing. It's too much for the both of us. So we need each other." I looked over at her and smiled. She changed me, I changed her. I laughed and rested my head on her shoulder. "What's so funny?" I didn't answer her question and put my arms around her shoulder.

As we walked back to his room, I got an idea." What if you stay with me?" She looked at me confused and giggling." You don't have to, you know that, don't you?" I nodded and grabbed her hand." You said you can't sleep alone. Why suffer alone when we can get through it together. You even said it yourself." She looked away, probably embarrassed. Her face turned a little red. It was funny how nervous she was. She whispered softly, "sure."